Anxiety of a Perfectionist

The trick in life is learning how to deal with it.--Helen Mirren

Life is full of uncertainties. Dealing with the unknown future is what categorizes what it means to live as a human being. Bad times are intermixed with good times and sometimes conquering those adversities make one stronger. However, sometimes enough is enough. Do you remember having those days that no matter what you do or how hard you work nothing goes your way? Or you do everything right but still everything turns 180 on you? I am sure majority of us had those days--hopefully not too often. Now let us take that and consider people who have the tendency to continuously beat themselves up. For someone who is a perfectionist, insomnia and anxiety could be his constant companion when everything goes awry. Consider though, how productive is that? You worry about what the future might bring as a result of the past. You lose sleep due to that thought, then you perform even worse because you lost sleep. Seems self-defeating, doesn't it? Well, it is. What can you do to take your mind off the loop of self-reprimand or worrying?

Chilling out with what you enjoy doing

Take time to relax and do something you enjoy. Personally, I dabble in personal projects such as art and building things--with an instruction manual, of course. Or I just chill with a good book or good movie to keep my mind off the horrid day. Have you ever re-visited your childhood favorites? Some may think that it might to too childish but I say you enjoy what you enjoy. Recently, I reread some of R.L. Stine's Fear Street series. The stories still draw me in as it did back when I was young. The only difference is that as an adult it took less time than it did when I was a child and it was not as scary. I know--horror books when a person is having insomnia from anxiety. Does not sound logical, does it? The main point is to keep my mind off my revolving thoughts of failure; so it does just that. Watching a good series or re-watching one has been another way I am able to relax. My current fancy is "Domina" series in Amazon Prime videos. I tend to have rotating tastes and currently I am going through a historical re-enacting phase. I find myself anticipating what will happen and at the same time nitpick of how the dialogue is different from what I image how an ancient Roman would speak. My advice would be to find something you enjoy doing that would take your mind off of what is bothering you. Unless it is something that needs to get done, then just get it done and then chill.

Get things off your chest

Free-typing my thoughts and journaling also helps. Sometimes, when we are stressed out getting things off our chest have some therapeutic effects. Hound your family or your friends about what is bothering you and maybe they can provide a feedback that will help alleviate your anxiety or just lend a listening ear. My best friend's time does not match with mine. So when we get a chance to talk, we can unload our burdens by talking for an hour or more. I know some of my family members and associates are hesitant to get together with the increasing levels of the variant Covid. However, that is where the advantage of zoom or video chats comes in. Personally though, I would avoid the critics in your peers especially when you are already feeling down. Sometimes, you may need tough love to improve yourself, but not when you are already doubting yourself. It may cause you to spiral even further down.

Pay to get the stress out

I know people associate psychiatrist with treating the mentally unsound. Nevertheless, I had heard people do benefit from seeing a counselor or a therapist at times. If they find the right therapist, they can get the techniques to cope with their anxiety. You heard about behavioral cognitive therapy perhaps. From what I hear, it could get very uncomfortable because it forces the person to face the cause of their feelings. With a skilled therapist as a guide, an individual can navigate through his or her emotional upheavals.

Final Tidbits

Stress is something that we deal with every day. Things do not always go as planned and sometimes we need to scramble to make it right. However, at the end of the day, it is you who will suffer if a coping mechanism is not in place to deal with the stress. If you are one of those people who can go through the day and let it all go at the end of the day, then kudos to you--you may have your own tricks that you may be willing to share. As for the rest of us, we need to remember that it is not the end of the world and that we should take a time to relax.