Anxiety: 10 Positive Things I Tell Myself Every Day

It's really hard to wake up in the morning and tell yourself that you can get up, that today might not be so bad. Living with anxiety is an endless battle of self doubt, one of which that literally eats you up from the inside. I know it's hard to talk to people about it, especially when they give the ok that you can you talk to them, but really you cant talk to anyone unless they're in the same boat as you. Even then, finding someone you can relate to is hard. For me it is anyway.

I grew up having a hard time making friends and always found myself alone or anxious because I was such a shy kid. Somedays its hard to tell myself that I'm going to be ok, that i'll be brave and conquer what obstacles will be in my way. Somedays though it's easy to get up and look at myself in the mirror and be proud of my reflection and not worry about what negative things will rain on my parade. I had began journaling only positive things so I can always look back on what makes me happy when I am upset, the very first page is a top ten list of advice I gave myself.

So for you and anyone else who needs it, here are ten things I tell myself every day to help me cope with anxiety:

10. Not everything is your fault.

So I know that sounds a bit negative but if you have severe anxiety, you'll somehow tie yourself into a problem that really has no relevance to you at all. For example, one of the hardest things to wrap my head around is when someone becomes quiet after something I said or did. I automatically find myself apologizing or asking if I did something wrong. Of course it's not bad to take the other person into consideration if you did manage to do something wrong, but it becomes a real problem when you can't accept that they're telling the truth. From there it's just a downward spiral of negative thoughts and that's not good. So again, convince yourself that not everything you say or do will have a negative impact on someone.

9. Upset? Take a deep breath and talk it out.

I struggle very much with this one and because I realized this too late, I lost the love of my life. My boyfriend was always so patient with me. If I didn't want to talk, he would put me to bed and stayed by my side until I woke up at which he would make me laugh and then talk out my problem. If not sleep, then we would sit in silence while he soothed me with back rubs and a hug. All he ever wanted was for me to talk to him but that becomes a huge obstacle when you've been told you're annoying or "overreacting" when you do talk about your feelings. At times I did manage to tell myself it was ok to let him know what was up, but most times I fought against him. I didn't want to talk to him because I couldn't convince myself he wouldn't get annoyed with me and because of that, I pushed him away to the point where our relationship had to end. I am still so hurt from leaving, but I am now aware of how important it is to talk about your feelings, especially to someone who obviously cares about you. Again, please take a chance to talk about how you feel to someone you trust and how genuinely cares about you.

8. It's ok to be alone. In fact, make some time to be alone.

If you live a busy life like mine which involves work, family, and a ton of errands, alone time is good. Of course it's not bad to want to go out with your friends and have a good time, but sometimes the best way to overcome your fears is to face them. A major factor of anxiety is loneliness, the fear of always being alone or secluding yourself for the better. To overcome this, I spend time alone. If I have errands to run, I make sure I play my favorite music or take a different route and admire the scenery. If I have the house to myself, I take a nice bath and focus on skin care or do some cleaning, maybe even some light working out. Social media tends to take up time or makes me sad, so occupying yourself in other ways and taking the time to spoil yourself is very good for you mentally and physically.

7. You are beautiful no matter what.

Guys and girls, you're beautiful ok? Your insecurities are normal and guess what, they're always there. Some days you notice them and some days they don't even cross your mind. Even when you notice them, though, it doesn't make you any less you. I wake up some mornings and look at my body and feel gross or self conscious. Sometimes I look at myself and think, "Wow I hate my nose, my acne scars are gross and my body looks funny, etc." but I ask myself why I feel like that. Why is it that that morning in particular I felt like garbage when the day before I thought I was beautiful just the way I am? It's the same with you. You'll have your good days and you'll have your bad but no matter what, you are the only you and that's amazing.

6. Stop being stubborn.

If someone wants to treat you, let them! I know some of us are like "Oh no, I don't deserve that." So what? If your friends want to go out, go out. If your family wants to do something special, let them. Someone wants to pay for you, that's ok. I always run it by them and insist I could at least pay half or if it's an outing, I'll buy food. Sometimes they're ok with it and sometimes they would much rather spoil you and save you the trouble which is very kind. I understand sometimes it's uncomfortable and it's good to let them know you're not used to these kinds of gestures, but again if someone insists, that's ok.

It's also the same with talking about feelings. If you're upset and continue to be upset after the problem is over and done with, stop! It definitely depends on the situation but all I'm saying is stop being petty. Don't do things out of spite or because it's funny, it will only fire things up again and you'll fall into a little cycle of constantly getting upset and not letting things go. That not only gets hard on you but it becomes hard on other people too. I've had a bad habit of this but convince myself I am better than my negative feelings.

5. A good day can't be ruined by something small.

No matter what, shut out any negativity, especially when you had a good day. My good days usually involve me being out with friends or at a concert. I tend to get anxious when my parents ask if I got home yet because I feel as though they're upset I'm out so late or not safe and whatnot. They of course reassure me that I can do whatever I want really, but I tend to assume the worst.

The finest bit of bad news could come kick you in the butt and it feels like it could ruin your day, but don't let it. If you had plans later that night to do something fun but feel as though you should cancel because you're upset, don't. You'll regret it and sometimes it is exactly what you need. Keep your head high.

4. Take care of yourself for the better.

It's super hard but you have to do what will make you happy. This year has been so rough on me but I did a lot of things to try to make me a better person. I dropped negative friends and didn't even give them an explanation, they didn't need one. I started working out, I do my best to cut out junk food, I redecorated my room and got a whole new wardrobe within the span of five months, and I've been doing good. It was all so hard to do, especially when you can't bring yourself to get up some mornings but sometimes when you force yourself to do better, it really does help. So please, if you can, do all the things you wanted to do and start off small.

3. Make goals and keep them.

The best way to make you feel like you have your life on track is creating lists or goals with deadlines. I got into journaling because not only do I enjoy writing but I like to have lists so I feel clean and organized. I create a set of goals for the month which usually consists of budgeting mostly, as in how much money I need saved for bills or when to buy a certain pair of concert tickets and whatnot. I also have a goal list set for the end of the year which involves moving out (which is hopefully soon) and traveling. I look back on these lists often and even add to them but I never rip them off of my journals. It's really nice to see what you accomplish and could maybe work on for next time to achieve them.

2. Face your fears.

It sounds scary, obviously, but it's not all that bad. It's a hard pill to swallow but sometimes if it means facing rejection or failure, it is exactly what you need. Besides, it feels pretty bad ass when someone notices your courage or dedication when you don't give up. I struggled for months to get a job and had a ton of family stuff I was dealing with but I didn't stop trying. I felt like garbage yes, but I told myself if I wanted to be better I had to keep looking for a job and had to keep holding onto my dreams. It was until one of my best friends called me one night after a hard day, they reassured me I was doing more than enough and that it was rare and beautiful to see how I carried myself. I want everyone to feel like they're their own superhero, so really keep on carrying yourself.

1. You'll be alright, seriously.

I have a lot to say on this one but I'll try to sum up everything I'm thinking. No one is going to check up on you as much as you'd like them to, you're going to find yourself being alone sometimes, you might want more support but hey, it really is all just temporary. It's super hard but I really believe you're a tough a cookie. In fact, you're more than a tough cookie. You're the hero in the dark that not all of us get to see in action and I don't mean you can fly and lift a semi truck over your head. You carry an invisible weight on your shoulders and you wear a smile that masks everything you've ever gone through and that is enough to be a superhero of your own. So keep on going, you've got this. It really is a long process, as I've been trying to cope for years, but please don't give up on taking things slowly and day by day. You've got this. You've really got this.

I hope this helps you and if not, that' ok. What works for me might not work for you. Whatever you or anyone else is going through, all I ask is that you be a friend whether you need it or someone else needs it. Be your own hero.