An Inner Struggle: Watching Someone Suffer from Panic Attacks

The words "panic attack" bring with them a certain image: you might imagine someone passing out, overtaken by such a wave of anxiety that they fall prey to tremors that wrack their whole bodies.

I know people experience things differently depending on many variables, but the panic attacks I have seen never manifested in this apparent shock-factor way.

The first time I saw a panic attack up close, my mother and I were in a Best Buy. I was five or six at the time, it's hard to say, but I don't remember anything being amiss. My mom and I were just browsing through VHS tapes (we can place the timeframe at the mid-90's then) when, suddenly, she was kneeling on the carpeted floor with her head nearly between her jean-clad knees. All I can remember is crouching down next to her and trying to find out what was happening. Oddly, though, I knew not to start a ruckus myself. I just sat there as I rubbed circles into her back while she told me in only a few words that I just needed to give her some time to breathe and calm down. She would later explain to me that she had started to have panic attacks, and the incident at Best Buy was one of them.

What exactly is a panic attack?

NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) describes a panic disorder this way:

This disorder is characterized by panic attacks and sudden feelings of terror sometimes striking repeatedly and without warning. Often mistaken for a heart attack, a panic attack causes powerful physical symptoms including chest pain, heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath and stomach upset. Many people will go to desperate measures to avoid an attack, including social isolation.

(source)

Panic attacks are definitely tricky things and hardly the easiest thing for mental health professionals to treat. How many people are suffering with this silent threat just a stressor's throw away? While only 2% of those in the United States suffer from panic disorder, women are twice as more likely than men to experience panic attacks (source).

Here's a personal account.

A woman I know—let's call her N—has suffered panic attacks on and off for years. Though she experienced them as a young adult for a time, she went for a long while after without triggering one until New Year's Day a few years back. Coming out of a restaurant where she had just had lunch with friends, she suddenly developed the sweats and chest pain. Her friends, concerned by her symptoms, thought she would have to be taken to the emergency room for what sounded like a heart attack. But N knew from past experience that she was experiencing a panic attack.

Though anti-anxiety medication may be prescribed in some cases, there are individuals who opt out of this kind of treatment. And, even if the patient does take a pill after symptoms begin to develop, there's no guarantee that it will work straightaway or even that just one will suffice. N's worst panic attack came the afternoon of an out-of-town wedding when sweat soaked through her clothes as she tried—and failed—to calm herself down while anxiety clawed at her insides. Even breathing exercises did little to help. Three anti-anxiety pills and an hour of silence while lying face-down on a hotel bed later, N was able to feel the splitting chest pain subside.

The oddest thing, of course, is that N has never been able to connect exactly what her triggers are for the haphazard panic attacks. Sometimes she's out with friends; other times, she's at home in her bedroom; and a few times she has been at parties with crowds of people. What is the root cause for these things? Well, that may be up to a discussion between N and her psychiatrist.

The main takeaway: no matter how conscious of mental health you may be, anxiety and panic disorder can strike anyone. No one is immune to the potential for experiencing this kind of anxiety-connected blowback. It often is not even a matter of knowing why you're anxious since there are types of panic attacks that have no environmental triggers that can be avoided.

What does all this mean for you?

If someone you know suffers from panic attacks, then try to be understanding. Living with panic disorder can be a devastating thing, and not everyone will be willing to take medication for it. Also, just the fact that you know about the panic attacks would show that this person in your life trusts you deeply to let you know about their struggle.

Be supportive and patient if someone is experiencing a panic attack while you are present. It is often a cage without a clear key to unlock the way out. You don't know what may be racing through the person's mind or how helpless they feel at the time.

Listen and observe their cues, and don't try to project what you feel they need onto them. If they tell you to be quiet and sit in a corner of the room while they wait out the waves of anxiety pooling from within, then do it.

And remember, above all, be kind to each other.

No mental health struggle is easy, but panic attacks can be debilitating—and even embarrassing—to those who suffer from them. If you have to choose between being the support or being the obstacle, then please try and be the support. Your friend, loved one, partner, coworker, etc., will thank you for it.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the United States. This article and others can help educate in an approachable way the hurdles and struggles of mental illness. For more information, you can also visit the official site of NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) here.

Author's Note: I am not a mental health professional, nor do I have a degree in the field of psychiatry. My advice should not trump any word from someone in the field, so please use discretion if you suffer from a mental illness and are in need of help. Please refer to the phone number for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 if you are in need of professional assistance. All opinions and anecdotes are my own unless otherwise stated.