ADHD BURDEN

Those of you that have ADHD can understand what I am going through or have been through. I recently was diagnosed and have a very very long road ahead of me.

It started back when I was about 6 and I remember having parent/teacher conferences and my teacher repeated a few times, "I don't know that she is really grasping any of this because she is a chatter box and cannot sit still." Every year after that each teacher would had the same news for my parents. I couldnt shut my mouth or sit still. To my knowledge, my parents were fully aware of what ADHD was and that chances were pretty damn good that I had it. Unfortunately they never sought treatment of any kind at all. Why? They felt Dr.'s would over medicate me and they didn't want that so they decided to do nothing.

Unfortunately at that time, kids had started to bully me, constantly. It's unclear if my parents ever discussed the ADHD with me because I don't remember a specific conversation about it. The bullying and early signs of ADHD were soon to be a combination that created an on going downward spiral that has continued up to today.

When the bullying started it was so bad that it's really the only memories I have of my childhood. I had frizzy hair, big round slightly tan tinted glasses and a diastema with an over jet. Which is a gap between the 2 front teeth and an overbite just more extreme. The names ranged from Bucky, big tooth Britt, wood chomper, Brittney beaver wood, and just shouting at me about my weird looks. One incident I can remember very specifically a kid I rode the bus with said that my hair needed to be tamed and the only way to do that was with a notebook wire. I said no my mom does hair and she never said that, he started laughing and held up a notebook which he had pulled out the spiraled wire, breaking it into little pieces and chucking them into my hair. This caused such a headache when I got home they were hard to get out because my hair was kind of curly and frizzy and they just would snarl in more as you tried to pull them out big disaster and I cried for the rest of the night.

What adds to this is how my parents reacted to the situation. I would come home crying every day from school and they always gave me the same response you have to get over it you have to let it go just don't worry about it. That was probably the worst way to handle the situation. All it did was make me believe the mean words were true. Being so young I don't know that it wasn't, I assumed if that's what they were saying about me then it must be true.

Why couldn't my parents have at least empathized with me about it or even hug me or say that's not true? I wonder if that would have given me more confidence to stand up for myself. I think it would have.

Now you wonder what's next? Well here we are today just starting medication and man, what a road ahead it will be.