Addiction is a Hell of Your Own Making: Thomas’s and Nicole’s story

Hear the voice of everyday people — collection of stories and experiences

by Gabriella Kőrösi, PhD, MN, RN

I was talking originally to Thomas’s sister for an interview for this book. Her story was under Susan in the book. While we were talking, she thought her brother and his wife might like to talk to me. I received their number and got in contact. They both decided to talk to me. I was delighted. I love when I can talk to more than one family member it gives a nice picture and different points of view within the family. I talked to Thomas first, he lives farther away from me, we arranged a phone call. We talked for about an hour and 20 minutes. Thomas has now been sober for 4 years. He had been struggling with addiction from age 15–30. He had used multiple substances. He drank a lot of alcohol and also used “hard drugs”. He mostly used alcohol and marijuana in the first 13 years and in the last 2 years of his use he describes ramping up and using cocaine and methamphetamine as well.

His condition was getting worse quickly. He describes waking up every morning thinking he just had a hangover, now he knows that they were bad withdrawals from the alcohol and drugs. He describes cold sweats, racing hearts, light-headedness, he had trouble standing. He was drinking a lot of caffeine to try to counteract how he was feeling. He would then just go about his day drinking and using drugs. It sounds like a very painful experience. I tell him that. He said yes it was, he become very isolated and withdrawn, he was trying to hide all his usage from friends, family, and his partner. He would keep alcohol hidden around in his bedroom; in his hamper, he would have 2–3 bottles of hard alcohol that he could use. He did not just want to drink he wanted to blackout, he tells me just being drunk was not enough, he was looking for oblivion.

He wanted to stop thinking, that was the goal. This was the reason why he started to use other drugs as well. When alcohol was not enough anymore, he started to touch the drugs he swore before he would never use to forget things. To be honest he tells me just before he got sober most nights he went out and used and hoped he would die. He calls this passively suicidal. He would start drinking and using and hope that he will not wake up the next day. He did not want to live this way anymore. He was able to turn his life around.

I ask him why? Why did you not want to wake up Thomas?

He tells me he had previous trauma and underlying mental health issues. He was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, severe obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), he is dealing with a lot of anxiety, he was trying to self-medicate to manage his mood. He would either be incredibly depressed or uncomfortably manic. His drugs and alcohol helped to balance his mood out, it helped to prevent the experience of a very uncomfortable high and low from the disease. He had a lot of depression because of the way he was living and the notion of living in a way that went against his values. He wanted to be numb and not to deal with his feelings. After he got sober, he realized his low tolerance for distress and his uncomfortableness for emotional pain and discomfort. Thomas went through a lot of therapy to be able to sit with emotions that are uncomfortable and feel them.

He was diagnosed with OCD at age 7, it shaped his youth and young adulthood because it was difficult to manage, and it impacted everything in his life. He had problems with socializing with other people because of his OCD, performance in school, diet, and health. It impacted every aspect of his life. It made him miserable. He found out about his Bipolar diagnosis after he got sober. He had some suspicions, but he was not formally diagnosed. After he got sober, he had intense manic episodes where he would not sleep for a week then he went to a psychiatrist and got his formal diagnosis. Not being able to sleep for a whole week was terrible. It made him incredibly anxious, and the anxiety would not stop, very uncomfortable and unsettling. He would hallucinate because of the lack of sleep. Hallucinations were unsettling even though he knew he was seeing stuff because he had not been asleep, still it was very uncomfortable.

I ask Thomas if he would feel comfortable sharing the cause of the emotional pain that he was going through. He is willing to share some aspect of it. He felt isolated because of his mental health issues, he was different than others, he still struggles with this, not as much as before, he also felt pain from the stigma he felt because of his mental health issues. He was secretive about having a mental health issue. There were two people outside of the family who were aware he had mental health problems. When he went out with new people, he just tried to pretend to be as normal as possible. Now he is open about his mental health struggles. He has support from people in his life now. He is in a good therapy program.

He feels in America we view mental health issues as a moral failing. The more he used to drink and use drugs the worse his mental health problems got. It was just taking him further from people. He had this secret life nobody knew about. He felt shame because of the illegal things, it was counter to the value system he had done during his addiction, it made him feel demoralized, isolated, and monstrous. Once he become sober and started to address the shame regarding his addiction, he became less isolated and more connected to the people around him. This experience now is amazing he tells me.

He has open and loving relationships with friends and family. It is a huge change from the way he was living before. Many people I talked to brought up the connections to others as an important part of recovery. Thomas was able to find support and loving relationships with friends and family. Asked him what the turning point for him was to get out of addiction. Thomas tells me it was fear, he knew this life he was living was not sustainable, he tried multiple times over the 15 years to get sober. He has been in and out of AA starting at age 19. He had periods of sobriety but kept relapsing. When he was having severe withdrawal symptoms, he realized he will die unless he changes something.

He knew enough about alcohol withdrawal that it was dangerous; it was a kind of a wake-up call for him. He realized that even though he was suicidal he did not want to die. He researched what could happen during alcohol withdrawal and it scared him. He stopped using cold turkey. In hindsight, he tells me he should have used a medication-assisted withdrawal. He did end up being ok. He has been doing DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and working with a private counselor. This really helped Thomas to get through the first year of sobriety. He is now to a point where he could be around alcohol and it does not bother him anymore if he is in a bar or if others drink around him. There can be alcohol in the house, he won’t touch it. He wakes up grateful that he is not hungover and he remembers what happened last night. He feels gratitude and this really helps him stay sober.

Thomas started to go to an AA meeting with a group of people who are agnostic or not sure there is a God and wanted to talk about other aspects of AA but not the religious part. Thomas feels that AA is a valuable tool, but it also has a lot of issues it was hard for Thomas to go to regular AA meetings because they can be so dogmatic. He felt that there is a stigma in AA about relapsing and it is hard to come clean about a relapse in an AA meeting. AA does not take a harmful reeducation approach only an abstinence approach. Thomas feels that in a lot of cases that is not what a lot of people need, people need a method where there is support and a harm reduction model. The group he is attending in the past year does have a harm reduction approach, someone might be sober from alcohol but still smoking marijuana. Thomas feels this is really helpful for people to keep them from problem behaviors. Build connections and help people feel less isolated. People can relate to each other. I ask Thomas what addiction is meaning to him. He tells me it is a good question.

Then he said:” Addiction is a hell of your own making”.

I felt this is a very powerful statement. It was his own personal hell, which he got trapped in and had to crawl out of. Thomas feels nobody sets out to become addicted to something. When he was in the thrills of addiction, he had no idea how to get out of it. He could not fight his impulses enough, could not figure out the best way to get sober, could not stay sober more than a day here and there, felt stuck in a cycle. He knew he was causing damage to his life and the people he loves, and he could not stop it. He felt powerless, but also knew he is responsible for everything that is going on. He describes this cycle as being very lonely and awful.

I ask him if anything could have helped to prevent him from starting to use substances or help him crawl out of his cycle. He describes a good feeling free of the anxiety that was like an out-of-body experience. He tells me maybe more education when he was young about drug addiction, something effective that would have told him that what he was doing could lead to addiction, he might have at least given it a second thought. More information could have helped. Access to better mental health care, tools, and coping skills could have helped to prevent trying to self-smooth with alcohol. Tools would have helped a lot. He also has a family history of severe addiction issues. He could be genetically predisposed. His father and grandfather were alcoholics and his brother was a heroin addict.

He feels early intervention could have really helped. Once he was in it then it was too late, he lost his job, it become his first step to quit. The impulse to use was so strong. It overrides our sense of self-control, self-preservation. The most someone can do once they are in addiction is to offer support and be there when they are ready to quit. His dad got sober when he was 6 or 7 years old. He did not see a lot of bad behaviors from him. He would just see him sometimes passed out on the couch. Thomas remembers his father losing a job because of alcohol and getting a DUI once. His parents did not really talk about it. He remembers he used to drink beer and one day that just stopped, and he was not drinking beer anymore. His grandfather on the father’s side, the family would get reports on his behavior like locking himself into the room for weeks and only leaving to go get more alcohol. He died soon after Thomas was born so he never knew him. His maternal grandfather died from liver cancer caused by alcoholism. He used to have a coke can and Altoids (candy) with him to mask the sense of alcohol.

His brother was using marijuana at age 12. He also had mental health issues going on. At some point in high school, he started over-the-counter medications, later started using heroin. Thomas describes growing up in an upper-middle-class environment in the suburbs and he feels that both he and his parents were really naïve to think that addiction is not something that could be an issue for them. They did not find out about his brother’s heroin use until he was well into his addiction. He was 17 years old. When Thomas found out about his brother’s heroin use, this was hugely devastating for him. His brother was one of his best friends. Sometimes the only friend he had. It also allowed Thomas to compare his use and justify it by saying well, I am not using heroin. With his brother into heroin, his parents' focus was on that, and Thomas and his addiction and mental health issues flew under the radar. The family did not know until much later about Thomas’s use.

Thomas got good using and hiding it, he would go work high, going places drunk. His parents did not really know the extent of his addiction until he got sober and started to talk about it more openly. He tells me about his brother. He is clean of heroin but still high on marijuana continuously. They have a hard time connecting. He has not addressed his underlying problems of addictions. It is frustrating for Thomas; he wants to be close to his brother. Thomas used to think that the world is against him and did not take responsibility for his actions and that is where his brother is now with his addiction, it is difficult for Thomas to see that. His brother still has the view of him against the world and if anything goes wrong it is never his fault, it is everyone else’s. This is hard to see and creates a lot of damage to their relationship. Thomas has been working on setting very healthy boundaries with him. Family is doing the same thing. It makes him mad. They are firm on not giving money and not crashing on anyone’s place long-term without a plan.

Thomas describes their relationship as arm’s length. Thomas is happy to support him emotionally, but not financially. When Thomas first set this boundary, his brother did not talk to him for a few years. We discuss the fine line between supporting someone and enabling their habit for addiction. It is very difficult to draw the line, especially for a family. Thomas talks about this when it comes to their parents. Their parents did not want to kick his brother out, but they knew he was bringing heroin to the house and shooting up at the house, in the end regardless of his parent's efforts, his brother ended up choosing to be homeless. Their parents put some boundaries around behavior and where he can use drugs in the house. He was homeless for a few years on and off until he got some stable housing again. Thomas then talked about his mom and his partner finding support to deal with the loved one to set healthy boundaries in Al-Anon meetings. There is not an easy solution, it all comes down to making hard choices Thomas asserts. It is hard to set boundaries because then people can feel responsible for what happens to them next.

Thomas feels that we as individuals have a responsibility to reduce the stigma around addiction issues and this could save lives. If people don’t feel stigmatized, they can reach out for help, reducing isolation. We are all humans worth dignity and respect. He brings up some examples he heard people saying about addicts. He heard people say shouldn’t provide Narcan (medication to reverse opiate overdose) because if someone is a junkie they are choosing to die. He had heard people say addicts are choosing to become addicts. He feels that this shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what addiction is. Doing our part to educate others is our individual responsibility. On a larger level, we need more funding for recovery and harm reduction services to provide more support. Expanding education programs, MAT (Medication Assisted Treatment) programs, training for primary care providers in addiction issues and how to treat them.

On a federal level, Thomas feels he is radical in his views and asserts that we should use Portugal’s model to decriminalize all drugs and put the money that was used to incarcerate people to create recovery centers, recovery programs, stable housing, caseworkers. He tells me we need to change our views on how we look at addiction. He has no hope that this will actually happen because of people’s views on drug use and drugs. He feels like if we would follow Portugal’s model, we would see a huge change in drug use and an overall decrease of people suffering from addictions because they would not be exposed to the criminal system. Not being punished for addiction, they would get help from mental health providers, caseworkers, social workers. It would be a more humane way to deal with addictions. It would be the ideal situation to help people with addiction by decriminalization. More realistically he tells me that he would like to see relaxing some of our drug laws. More emphasis on the federal level of trying to treat the roots of addiction and improve mental health and addiction services, research.

Our conversation circles back to stigma and working on reducing stigma in mental health as many people with mental health issues have addiction issues and for them to access mental health services in the first place to make the decision to go to a mental health provider, mental health stigma would also need to be decreased the same way as stigma around addictions. He feels that stigma about mental health is getting a little better he feels people don’t view mental health problems as a personal or moral failing anymore.

He feels like health care providers are in the front line to treat addiction like EMTs (Emergency Medical Technicians), primary providers, emergency physicians. The providers and people who interact with patients could be trained in addictions and how to have a conversation about them to increase competency, as well as be knowledgeable about resources available. We have a discussion about training doctors about options for patients who need to get off of drugs or alcohol. We discussed the benefits of using different drugs to get off opiates and pill-popping Suboxone clinics that want cash for pills and don’t provide other support for patients. I have a tendency to kind of get worked up about this issue.

We had an intense conversation with Thomas. It was good. He was telling me about some county efforts for training providers to be able to provide Suboxone for patients who need it. We talk about full-service treatment not just a replacement like methadone without additional support. This is what happened to his brother he was on methadone for 5–6 years, he tapered off his dose himself he did not want to be on it forever. Just replacing heroin with methadone is not enough people need additional support minimum counseling Thomas asserts with the ultimate goal to get people off of opiates.

A few days later I talk to Nicole on the phone. We have about an hour of conversation. She starts out by saying that she does not believe people just wake up and decide they want to be addicted to a substance. Nobody wants that. She was excited to talk to me. Nicole has experience in addictions and dealing with addictions as a health care provider and she also has a family member, a loved one, Thomas who you just read about who has been dealing with addiction issues. I ask her about her experiences. Nicole tells me that addiction has permeated her life. She grows up in a family where nobody would identify themselves as an alcoholic and everyone in her family uses alcohol for coping. Interactions had been difficult growing up especially with explosive emotions.

I can tell she said this with a heavy heart and there is a big sigh after she finishes the sentence. As she got older, she told herself she will not fall for someone who had a problem with addiction, it impacted her youth so much. Then she tells me: “I ended up marrying an alcoholic” — she laughs. I push for a little more detail; I ask her how it affected her growing up in a family of alcoholics. Nicole is willing to share. She tells me that her family cannot really be around each other without drinking. They get together for holidays, for dinners, her aunt and uncle from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed they are finding excuses to drink. Her mom would have multiple ales every night.

As a small child, she could tell if it is going to be a good night or a bad night based on how many ale bottles were beside the kitchen sink.

Nicole tells me that if it was just one or two bottles it was a standard just wanting to unwind after a hard day of work, if she saw 4–5 bottles, she would know her mom would end up crying sometimes during the night or getting mad and yelling at her over something. She tells me even as a kid she started problem-solving around caretakers’ relationships with alcohol. As an adolescent, she would put her mom’s ales in the fridge for her during the daytime because she put them in the freezer the night before and if they exploded, she would get even angrier.

Nicole tells me it was better for her to put them in the fridge for her mother before she got home, so it could be one less thing that she could get upset over. When your loved one has an addiction people kind of learn how to cater to the addiction to make life easier.

One of the proudest moments she had was when she started to set healthy boundaries with a loved one.

Many people I talked with have difficulties setting boundaries, they don’t want to lose their loved one. It took Nicole a year going to Al-Anon to be able to set the boundaries. Hearing other people’s stories with similar situations give Nicole the strength and the courage to set boundaries out of love, not punishment. Out of the need for self-preservation, she adds. She tells me about the first time. Her partner, Thomas come home drunk, he could not remember things Nicole told him, he was falling all over himself. Nicole politely told him: “hey I love you and I don’t want to talk to you when you are like this, please drink some water I am going to bed”. He had to sleep on the couch that night, she did not let him back in the bedroom.

The next morning, they had a conversation about how he acts when he drinks like that, Nicole told him she does not want to be around that. It was a wake-up call for her to set boundaries and for Thomas to realize how annoying he is when he is intoxicated. She laughs. Her mom stopped drinking as much and the two of them have now been having conversations about her mom’s drinking and the effects on that for Nicole when she was growing up. Nicole does not touch alcohol much, occasionally she might have a drink, but she is not interested in alcohol. She feels like because she does not have anything positive with alcohol.

I asked Nicole how this is working for her with our society being so alcohol friendly everywhere. She tells me it has been so hard, and people get so weirded out if somebody does not drink. People get really nervous. She has to come up with some sort of excuse why she does not drink. It is so common in our culture. She feels it is odd to her that just saying she is not into it is not a satisfactory answer. She works in the mental health and addictions field in about 8 years now. It is surprising to her that more of her co-workers are not more thoughtful about their use.

A lot of holiday parties are at bars. It seems very hypocritical to her that while they are trying to help people and show them how substances affect their lives, yet, they go and have a work party at a bar. Nicole tells me that she thinks this speaks to a larger societal issue about comfort and socializing. She calls alcohol a “social lubricant” that people need to feel comfortable being themselves around other people. It is an interesting phenomenon. Being married to Thomas who is a recovering alcoholic Nicole has been watching people’s reactions to him if he discloses why he does not drink. It makes people uncomfortable. I ask Nicole why she thinks that is. Deep down people know and have some feelings about the need to drink and social interactions. She feels that there is a fear of judgment and stigma. Nicole feels that people in recovery are the least judgmental people she had ever met. They went through so much judgment and stigma themselves.

Based on what Nicole witnessed, she feels that addiction is filling a void. Feeling an unmet need. She saw this with her loved ones, loneliness, inability to cope, something missing. She sees it with her patients too, either because of a persistent mental illness, they are trying to self-medicate for or PTSD. Their substance of choice is trying to minimize whatever they are experiencing so they don’t feel so intense.

Sometimes nothing feels like a lot. We talk then a little more about society. Nicole tells me that she feels our society breathes addiction and it has a responsibility to help and support people with addiction issues. Our society normalizes a lot of addictive behaviors. Class plays a huge role and how we treat addiction because a soccer mom with a drinking problem is laughed about while a homeless person with a bottle in a brown bag is looked at with judgment. It is the same problem, but it is treated differently. She feels like we need more access to help with addictions and a different mindset.

We discuss society and acceptance of who we are without alcohol. Nicole feels that there is not enough focus on emotional intelligence.

She feels we need to talk to our kids about mindfulness, acceptance, compassion, boundaries, with those skills she feels people would feel more comfortable being who they are.

This is very difficult now with social media and unrealistic expectations on how someone should look like. For sure she said, she tells me it is getting harder and harder. She works with adolescents and the kids are connected to their phones they live on it 24/7. They are addicted to social interaction that is so surface level. It is like there is a need for connection, yet there is no deep connection forming. It is very superficial, lacking deep friendship. Nicole feels we need more sober spaces for people to hang out in. Making more places that are not bars to meet others. She tells me as individuals if someone suggests meeting at a bar, suggest meeting at a coffee house instead. To help with addictions we need people to have access to things, to light up their reward pathway, that is not harmful to their bodies. Create a society that makes coping skills acceptable.

Self-care will look different for everybody. Knowing our community and coming up with realistic alternatives can be a first step Nicole asserts. She talked about coming up with ideas on how to make affordable spa days, make body scrubs, makes it out of sugar and essential oils that people can get experience for $3. I tell her about the coffee scrub that I make. She talks about diet a lot with her clients. Nicole tells me about food addictions. Studies show neurotransmitter receptors in our gut, it is a very strong brain-gut reaction. Sugar and carbs have a dopamine rush in our brain, and she tells me this makes us feel better by eating these things.

The problem is when people are eating that much sugar, they end up getting a crash then maybe not feeling as well, it is not healthy for their body in the long term, it does damage over time. She encourages replacing them with healthy alternatives. A little bit in moderation might ease the craving she feels, that when it comes to food, she gives me an example with ice cream. Nicole tells me a lot of people love ice cream; it makes them feel great. The nutritionist Nicole spoke with suggested eating frozen bananas instead. See her recommendation below.

Frozen bananas to replace ice cream Recipe: blend bananas up in a blender add a little milk, maybe a little vanilla, it tastes just like vanilla ice cream she said. Put it in a freezer. An alternative to milk can be used like almond or coconut milk. Nicole uses almond milk herself, she said it tastes great with it. Enjoy.

She suggests eating a lot of food for vitamins and fiber. Eating less processed carbs. We are talking about pastries, pasta, bread eat much less of these items. Eating rainbow, as many different colors as possible can when it comes to fruits and vegetables. Be open to a variety of things to eat. It gets us exposed to more nutrients. Moderate food intake. Eat on a smaller plate. Use a salad plate for a meal instead of using a huge plate. Nicole tells me the importance of alcohol use and the lack of vitamin B and iron. When someone is recovering it is very important to eat things high in iron and Vitamin B. With methamphetamine and heroin, people don’t eat as much because they don’t feel it, are too sedated or are too ramped up to eat. Suppressing hunger with drugs and alcohol is also a problem Nicole had run into.

People with eating disorders sometimes use substances to make themselves not feel hungry anymore. Ask Nicole my magic wand question. I ask her what she would do. She tells me she would completely change our social structure, make it more available for people to have free time for their interests and hobbies outside of needing to work for survival. Give people more opportunities to find pleasure in day-to-day life. More opportunities for people to grow their own food and support their local agriculture. She feels like this is missing from modern-day culture.

People now have no idea where their food comes from and how it needed to be grown and raised. This might seem weird, but she would like if we could use the knowledge, we have now but go back to a simpler time with less technology. Interestingly when I was talking to Chloe, she told me the same thing, she wanted to go back 100 years and live on a farm. Have less mobility, Nicole adds, create communities again, foster connection to the earth and to us. Let’s just revamp society. She laughs. She said: We can always try. There are a lot of problems with our health care system, it is not that people who work there are not trying, so many try their best, and there are more problems than resources.

Mental health and addiction get the least funding.

Less money with more issues. Many people utilize the ED (Emergency Department) for overdoses, mental health, liver failure. Nicole feels that there is still a lot of misunderstanding and stigma about addictions. She hears phrases like medication seeking as a label. Sometimes people and their pain get brushed off because of their history. Nicole feels awareness could help. In Portland, Oregon there is more of a shift now to MAT. She tells me about Suboxone and how it can help some people. We discuss the benefits and problems with Suboxone. Patients also need support and mental health work. I tell her about my experience with Suboxone and detoxing with Suboxone, then switching to other options. Just prescribing a pill is not enough to achieve sobriety.

The government could allocate more funding for social services. She feels this would not happen, but it is her dream. We discuss the legalization of drugs and jail time for using or possessing substances. She tells me a lot of people died in Jail from withdrawal. We discuss prevention and coping skills and how we could help youth and kids to prevent addictions. Nicole feels that we could have conversations about boundary setting, peer pressure, teaching boundaries at a young age. Teaching how to handle disappointment, overwhelming feelings, teaching that feelings are ok. How someone handles their feelings is what is important.

There are a lot of people who are afraid of their feelings, feel like they are not allowed to have feelings. People might have also never learned how to sit with discomfort she adds. It is hard to sit with discomfort and people need skills to learn and accept discomfort. When someone cannot sit with discomfort then they are starting to look for ways for the discomfort to go away. We really need to teach our kids healthy coping skills. Life will not always go the way they wanted it to go. I ask her what those healthy coping skills could be. See Nicole’s tip below.

Healthy coping skills:

Breathing — take a deep breath — take a moment taking yourself carefully out of the situation

I ask Nicole about happiness and joy. Nicole lets out a big sigh. She is learning to find happiness and joy in the little things in life. Looking at her cat rolling over. Taking a moment to stop and smell the flowers. She was diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and it is hard for her to find joy. She likes to share meals with others and cook. Trying new things. When somebody deals with addiction, it is harder for them to find joy in small things in their life.

Closing out our conversation Nicole tells me that addiction needs to be addressed with a well-rounded approach. Get enough education and information and get support as needed. I ask her if she had trouble accessing the mental health system, she feels that we need more beds, more support and there is a lot of band-aids currently in the system. I ask her about treatment, she feels it is very short and people are cycled through to get beds for others. There is a lot of burnout. She feels that the system could be restructured to support more people.

Take away message from Nicole: Compassion.

She thanks me for doing this book. I thank her for participating. It has been wonderful to be able to talk to 3 members of the same family and hear their experiences.

This book is dedicated to the memory of

Bagóczky József my uncle who died at age 19 — alcohol-related car accident

and to everyone else who has been hurt or lost related to addiction

Many people had been supportive and inspiring to me so I could create this book. Both of my wonderful children told me, just write that book, mom. My mom. I could have not done this without all the stories provided and the encouragement love and caring from my family and friends, nurses, doctors, counselors, teachers, professors, friends who are dealing with addiction and staying sober; and children, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers of people who are dealing with addiction currently. Thank you for speaking up, sharing your stories and life experiences. Thank you to all the people who read this book while in progress to provide feedback, ideas, and encouragement for me to continue writing. I would like to say special thanks to my friends and family for believing me and encouraging me to go on.

Front cover acrylic painting created by Andrea Mihaly October 2019

Our Society: Addiction and More Uncovered. Hear the voices of everyday people — a collection of stories and experiences.

Copyright @ 2020. 1st addition on Amazon KDP. 2nd addition Jan 2021 Barnes & Noble. By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi. All rights reserved. Dancing Elephants Press.