A Weakness We All Have

“But nobody can do what you do, how you do it I am not sure, you are one in a million. You are unique. Your talent exceeds what I have seen in this industry by a country mile and I have been in this industry for over 15 years.”

“Your talent and your look, is second to none.” and “Why would I make you such an offer if I didn’t think you were worth it, we invite only a very select few to join this exclusive investment club, we selected you, but if you are not interested, we will extend it to the next on our list of exclusive investors.”

There is something about flattery that drops our guard, and when we believe it, we are at our most vulnerable.

When something sounds too good to be true, it is. The old cliche applies even more to compliments that are rained down upon you.

We all love to hear good news and compliments, as a contrast to all the bad news that permeates our world. That is probably why we are so drawn to them.

We try our best at whatever it is we ply our minds or bodies to, so it is wonderful to see the payoff in terms of compliments, or opportunities, or hope for a better future.

The most skilled of manipulators are skilled in the art of ego stroking. Some are subtle, others are confident and loud. Each has mastered his own persona, but the one thing they all have in common is that they understand the target of the target is the ego.

They will also ask for your opinion on things, making you instantly feel important. Who does not enjoy being asked for an opinion or for advice on some matter or other? Most of the time, they have set questions and know exactly what they are going to say, no matter how you respond. They control the conversation and you are merely a mouse in their pre-thought out trap.

If they can target your ego and have you convinced that what they are saying is true, then they just need to reel you in. They use your own ego as the bait, which allows them to hook you into what they require from you.

Guard your ego, and don’t believe the flattery, no matter how real it seems. Remain sober minded and ensure you remain aware of the dream that they are selling.

Second step after baiting you with your own ego is their selling of the dream. In marketing, we call it ‘sell the sizzle’. People buy the benefits of something, not the features.

A luxury car highlights all the outstanding features in the brochure, but what the purchaser is really buying is the status amongst his peers. The image that the car gives him, the respect and standing.

This is true for any product. Someone buying a strawberry ice cream on a hot day isn’t just buying an ice-cream, they are buying a sweet cooling treat, bursting with strawberry flavour. They are buying the feeling of the soothing, cool, creamy, ice-cream, refreshingly creamy sliding down their throat.

This is what conmen thrive on. They sell the dream, the utopia and projection of a future without worry, without suffering, just success and freedom, no grind, no work, just blissful peace. They sell peace of mind, a life free from worry. You can decide what you want to do and when you will do it, they tell you.

But even the promise of a carefree, wealthy existence does not always ring true. Perhaps the biggest con would be that happiness is being a billionaire. Listen, I would love to have the challenge of being an unhappy billionaire, but this was rather telling, from the inventor of Minecraft, after selling Minecraft to Microsoft for $2.5 Billion.

"Hanging out in Ibiza with a bunch of friends and partying with famous people, able to do whatever I want, and I’ve never felt more isolated."

— Markus Persson (@notch) August 29, 2015 (Source)

The dream that they sell you is a lie. Beware of the flattering dream seller. The smooth talker or the confident, loud mouth.

Keep a sober mind at all times and always remember, when it sounds too good to be true, it almost always is.

Never be a victim of your own ego, no matter how hard you have worked at something, always remain humble.

As writers and creative people, we love to see our work enjoyed by others and many of us are looking for something more in life, and many of us work very hard at what we do. Remaining sober minded is something I need to keep reminding myself of. This does not mean that we should not give of our best and try new things. Just always be cautious and suspicious of anyone boosting your ego.