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A Scary Night

The night I let my anxieties take over

By Lyn Saint CyrPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
6

It was about 8:30 PM on Tuesday 20, 2018. I just got off my first ever job at Toys R Us, which was only a 15 minutes walk away from my apartment, and that was perfect for me being a 16 years-old with no driver's license because I am terrified of driving. I couldn't call my dad to pick me up because he would complain about my work not being too far away from the apartment, and he would be mad that I called because he had to go to work very early the next day. I was in a great mood that night, so I decided to walk instead of giving my dad an excuse to yell at me and ruin my mood.

I started my walk home, and the first 2-5 minutes were perfect; there were lights on the streets, I could see every car passing by and they could see me. It quickly came time for me to turn onto my street, which was dark and quiet, but I didn't mind it because it's always calm, and it didn't bother me too much that it was dark. I lived at the very end of the road, so I picked up the pace a little. About halfway into my walk, I faintly hear footsteps behind me, and I ignored it because maybe I hearing things, so I thought.

Holding my water bottle in my hands tightly, I kept walking, and the footsteps behind me got louder and louder. Being the submissive bitch that I am when it comes to my anxieties, I gave in to them, my breathing started getting out of control, and I was no longer walking as fast as I was before. Opening my water bottle, I took a big sip while also reminding myself to breathe; after putting the cap back on my water bottle, I reached into my pocket for my phone only to come face to face with the reality that my phone was dead. Haha! Funny right? I started to think about what I could do in this situation, and I soon realized that there was nothing I could do. I had zero means of protection, and I couldn't even throw a punch to save my life. So, I did the only thing I could do at the moment, which was panic, and I was quite good at it, so why not?

Trying my best to keep my breath under control as the steps got louder and closer, it came to my attention that I was sweating! In California at night, where it's almost always cold, and I was sweating! Being the pessimist that I am, I started thinking of everything wrong that was going to happen to me, lost in my thoughts with no cell phone, no nothing to protect myself, I now felt the person behind me's body temperature, and they were very close my behind me; not in my personal bubble but very close. Feeling the person's temperature, I stopped dead in tracks, and the person went around me and started walking in front of me; the person walked a bit farther, then turned and entered the house to the left of us. Standing on the sidewalk now feeling a bit stupid because all this time, I was panicking and panicking while houses surrounded me, and not one thought of scream crossed my mind.

I stood on the sidewalk, caught my breath, and speed-walked the rest of the way home. I got home feeling terrible for making assumptions in my head that the person that was walking behind me was solely walking there because they wanted to harm me. I stopped feeling bad quickly because a lot can happen while you're out and about. Even in broad daylight, you are never entirely safe. That night, I decided always to make sure my phone is charged thoroughly before leaving the apartment and always bringing my charger with me wherever I go. I also decided that night always to call my dad to pick me up when I get off work late because I rather him yell at me than getting kidnapped. Something that I did not do that night was invest in pepper spray and a taser, but two years after, I learned my lesson. Nonetheless, that's a story for another time.

anxiety
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About the Creator

Lyn Saint Cyr

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