A Piece of Therapy goes a Long Way

Dear Stranger Who Gave me Life,

Did you say you give up on your daughters? Does that only mean one of them? I’ve hated you for twenty years when that was a waste of my time. My biggest regret was in elementary school during the mother-daughter dance. Should’ve told Mommow to keep going, we were almost there. You just spoke to the group parents never once dancing with me. Mommow would have danced with me until she couldn’t no more and made me laugh at the same time. You hurt me at the most when you said if I don’t like how things are I can leave. When I left you acted like you didn’t even say anything. In fact, when I told the cops what you said you acted like I fibbed on you.

Mother you have the very thing that I am trying so hard to get rid of self-preservation. You need people to know something that you aren’t. When you are around friends you brag on how great of a daughter I am but when push comes to shove you don’t give a shit about me.

I don’t have it in me to hate you, I pity you because you are unable to love.

I learned that sometimes I have to just take things with a grain of salt with you. I used to look up to you as my mom but now I realize all you did was hold me back. You spoke down to me all of my life. You wanted me to follow your directions, you wanted to control me. You never let me make my own mistakes.

I used to be afraid of you because I thought I needed your permission and blessing to do anything. I wanted you to be proud of me, I hated that feeling.

I felt intimidated by you like you brought out the worst in me. But in truth you made me realize that I don’t need you.

Mom I have let you go, I’m done with the heartbreak, the sadness, the disappointment. What parent says I love you, but when I didn’t give you want you wanted you say, if you don’t like how things are you can leave. When in fact the house isn’t yours to begin with. Even though she would have kicked me out too. I have no responsibility to take care of something that’s not mine. The house doesn’t belong to me.

I don’t hate you Lisa, I just don’t like you. I hate how you got rid of my dog, I would have come back for him. I’m trying to think about it. I can’t stand how you treated me all of my life.

I just don’t have it in me to hate anymore Lisa. I’m not like you, I’m not like anyone in that family, I am who I am. I shape my destiny.

I was angry with you all summer for what happened. You let me go, you took everything I used to know. You burned my belongings, you burned everything, you took everything.

But I won’t let you take anything else away from me, so I say this goodbye Mom all you did is give me life, but my true Mom who raised me is my grandma. She is my Mom. Goddess rest her soul.

Sincerely,

A Stranger you will never know.

Disclaimer, can’t write what’s not true and everyone knows the truth. So this isn’t defamation of character. People know who you are so I can’t be held accountable for what people say about you. So you can’t take me to court for anything that I write.