A Nightmare

I was running away.

“Mitzi.”

I was running away as fast as I could.

“Mitzi, are you asleep?”

I heard a voice speak slowly.

“Mitzi?”

I saw a familiar shadow.

“Mitzi, it’s only a dream!”

His thick cologne filled the air.

“Mitzi, wake up!”

Fear took over and tears swelled down my face.

“Mitzi, please!”

The bitter taste of his lips made me gag.

“Mitzi! I’m right here.

Panic takes over and I struggle to get free.

“Mitzi, I love you.”

My head whipped back and I felt my consciousness return to me as someone shook my body with full force to try to wake me up, their strong hands on my arms. I was trembling violently as I opened my eyes to see Nikolas, my boyfriend, in front of me. His eyes are full of worry and sadness as he stares at me with sympathy.

“I’m here, Nick.”

He stops shaking me and pulls me into his chest, his hands gently caressing the back of my head.

“I’m sorry I woke you up so roughly, sweetie, but you were twitching and breathing heavily and you..” he took a deep breath, “You screamed.”

“It’s okay, Nick,” I mustered the courage to look back at him, “I’m happy you did.”

I quickly looked away again as I was about to cry again. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I don’t like crying in front of people. I tucked away into his sweatshirt.

Nikolas sighed, his forehead resting upon his head, obviously stressed by the situation.

“Are you alright, Mitzi?” I heard his sweet, comforting voice say.

I stopped myself from letting out. I look up at him and nod, faking a subtle smile. Yet, I couldn’t stop the salty tears from escaping my light blue eyes. I blinked a few times, trying to clear them. He took my head gently and brought it to his line of sight.

“No more tears, okay?” he put his hand on my shoulder, “I won’t hurt you Mitzi.”

I cried softly as I buried my face into his chest. His hand patting my back affectionately as I let it all out. I clung to him and he held me back.

This happened more than I’d like to admit.. My nightmare always got the better of me.

Each and every night, I have the same nightmare. Each and every night is the same as the night before. I wake up in a cold, relentless sweat, crying. Tears fall steadily out of my eyes, bouncing off my cheek like the september rain. My body shaking violently as I take my phone and look through my contacts for Nick. The calls always went the same as the one before.

“Ring-ring ring. Ring-ring ring.”

“Mitzi..”

“I’m sorry for bothering you..”

“It’s one in the morning.”

“I know..”

“Is it about that ..”

“...”

“Mitzi, you have to remember it’s only a dream.”

“...”

“I can’t do this every night..”

“..I know.”

“Then why did you-”

“I needed to hear your voice, Nick.”

“I.. I understand.”

“I love you, my angel..”

“I love you too, precious.. Try to relax, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You can tell me all about your nightmare or we can just talk. I just want to make you feel better, okay..”

“I just needed to hear your voice..”

“Are you okay, then?”

“I’m fine now.. Goodbye.”

“Wait-”

“Click”

Afterwards, I’d get a few worried text messages and a “DON’T JUST HANG UP!” in scolding caps. Then, he and I would have a deep, long conversation viva text. I felt guilty after our talks, yet I couldn’t help myself and I called him each and every time I woke up from the nightmare. I wanted that comfort he gave me. I wanted to hear him. His voice was my solace. And if his gentle touch was with that voice, it’d be so much more than just okay, but I knew it couldn’t be like that.

Given the circumstances, he knew I would likely be traumatized by the events that transpired that warm July evening and he knew I was still affected by it. He knew what each and every nightmare was about and the man whose cologne clogged my nostrils. He knew of the pain that man made me feel and he knew of our past relationship. He hated him just as much as I did and he knew how much I hated him.

“DING DING DING”

The school bell woke me up from my trance. I had forgotten completely that I was at school, I was so very spaced out. It’s strange how oblivious I can really be at times, huh?

I rushed out of the classroom and downstairs to my locker. There, I saw Nikolas, waiting for me as he always did. I couldn’t help but smile at him.

“How was school today, Mitzi,” he yawned.

“It was okay,” I replied, “Your day?”

“Was fine, now lets go home,” He said with a grin.

“Okay,” I smiled back at him and began walking ahead of him. Usually, he got annoyed by that for some reason. This time, however, it didn’t seem like he really cared all that much.

We exited the school, followed the pathway around, and turned towards the sidewalk.The sidewalk brought us to a four-way intersection with crosswalks following in all directions. I pressed the button and waited for the light to change, Nikolas clinging to my left side. The walk symbol flashed and Nikolas and I began to walk across and keeping our straight path all the way to my house. As we walked, Nikolas and I chatted amongst ourselves.

“What was that about last night, anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“The nightmare?”

“Him.”

“Him? You mean..”

“Yes.”

“Mitzi..”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Did he..”

“Almost.”

“Almost?”

“He was going to, but you woke me up.”

“..I see.”

“Yeah.”

“But you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Fine, but are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Say it, then.”

“I’m okay.”

We came up to the next street, waiting for the light to change and our chance to make it across.

“I don’t really believe that you are,” Nikolas stated plainly. I ignored his voice and carried on my way across the street as the last car turned left. Nick caught up with my pace, as he was a faster walker than I.

“Be honest, are you okay?” he asked again.

“I’m fine!” I raised my voice a little. Taken aback, Nikolas stopped asking and merely kept his way.

I knew that a lot was bothering me about that nightmare. That nightmare always bothered me, after all. I wanted to forget the events that transpired that day. I wanted to let it go and not be bothered by it, but no matter what, I found it hard to overcome completely. I couldn’t forget that day, the scars that were left are too deep. These nightmares will follow me to my grave.

“I’m sorry, Mitzi,” Nikolas said.

I looked up at him and thought to myself. I always had this nightmare and I couldn’t really stop it. Yet, there was someone always there to help me through whenever I had one. If I fell asleep in their arms and I started to shake, he’d wake me up. If I woke up in a sweat and needed to talk to someone, he’d be the one to call on the phone.

“Don’t apologize, Nick,” I said looking to the side, “You did nothing wrong.”

“I keep hounding you about this,” he replied.

I took a deep breath, “I shouldn’t push you away like this.”

He looked up, we arrived at my house. He then looked back at me.

“Are you ready?”

I looked up in confusion, “Ready for what.”

He looked into my eyes with a serious expression, “Are you ready to trust me?”

I looked to the side and smiled, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I trust you.”

He extended his hand and smiled, “Take my hand.”

“Okay,” I took his hand and took him into my house where we’d talk for hours about everything. I’d be completely honest with him about everything and he’d reassure me the way he did that evening. It was at that moment that I realized I love that guy.