6 Things You Need To Know About Echoism

Echoism is described as being the total opposite of narcissism. Usually, echoists are fearful of appearing egotistical and they avoid attention-seeking behaviors and situations.

Echoists are a nice and humble type and always tend to be over-giving. Due to their humble nature, they are the ones who become the giver — not the receiver. Since they are worried about not appearing as narcissists, the echoist becomes self-centered as well.

The Origins of Echoism

Echoism is considered a survivalist coping strategy. Echoists employ these behaviors when they feel that their wants, dreams, and ambitions are somehow burdening others.

Since they feel insecure about losing respect from peers, they center all their attention on others to maintain appearances. Echoism, like many other coping techniques, is strongly linked to a person’s childhood experiences, such as their experiences with mom and dad.

The 6 Different Aspects of an Echoist

There are many aspects behind an echoist. Here are some ideas that can help you better understand them.

1. They Are Scared of Seeking Attention

Echoists prefer to stay in the background. They do not engage in attention-seeking behaviors like fishing for compliments or doing controversial publicity stunts. Since they are always paranoid about not appearing as a narcissist, they do not want to receive praises for their successes or needs.

According to them, if they do receive praise, they will feel self-centered, unworthy, or guilty.

2. They Lack Self-Confidence

According to Dr. Malkin’s book Rethinking Narcissism — echoists have a lack of self-confidence and are frequently nervous, weary, and unhappy. Their low self-confidence explains why they are unable to appreciate their achievements, milestones, and potential abilities.

3. They Prioritize Others

Echoists excel in looking after people and resolving their issues. They prioritize other people and their needs and will often disregard their own wants and desires.

Plus, they will always justify why they are prioritizing others over themselves, making excuses along the way.

4. They Lack Boundaries

Echoists have shaky and porous boundaries. Some do not even have any boundaries whatsoever. Without proper boundaries and assertive language, they end up doing things that they do not actually want to do, and it comes at a great cost, such as their mental well-being.

5. They Tolerate Jealous Family

Echoism might as well be a byproduct of problematic parenting. For example, if someone’s parents had suppressed egos and lowered/inflated senses of self-esteem, their children may follow in their footsteps, none the wiser.

Other parents may be secretly resentful of their children’s abilities and achievements as a result of their own unfulfilled aspirations. They may criticize their children for having dreams that are higher than their own.

This may be a major reason why echoists will go to any length to avoid standing out. They may be fearful of jealousy— especially if the competition includes family.

6. They Don’t Want Others’ Help

Dr. Malkin has inferred that the concept of “subtle echoism” may also be at play, especially if echoists don’t want to accept the help of others. Thinking that they do not require help from other people, discreet echoists maintain a tight eye on personal requests, out of fear of appearing “selfish”.

Subtle echoists also ongoing mental distress, like anxiety and depression, and report disturbances that hinder everyday life activities like home and work.

Final Takeaways

Shapelessness is an echo chamber because it has no form, identity, or mind of its own. All of us have the right to communicate our fundamental and emotional needs, regardless of how we feel inside.

As mentioned in this piece, echoists are the opposite of narcissists (despite being worried that they will seem like one). They also engage in a variety of behaviors like hiding in the background, with no self-confidence, no boundaries, and with a preference to always help others over themselves. On top of that, they fear intense jealousy, especially from family.

Asking others for help is a sign of strength, even if we sometimes fear being rejected. The echoist must understand and accept that their self-worth is the same as everyone else. Seeking professional help may be helpful for individuals who feel like they are an echoist.

Thank you for reading ❤

Disclaimer: The original version of this story was published on another platform.

Link to original version: https://medium.com/preoccupy-negative-thoughts/6-things-you-need-to-know-about-echoism-93017b95b220

References

Fraga, J. (2019, August 20). What is echoism? A psychologist tells us about how some people really hate being praised. MIC. https://www.mic.com/life/what-is-echoism-a-psychologist-tells-us-about-how-some-people-really-hate-being-praised-18683455

Malkin, C. (2016). Rethinking narcissism: The secret to recognizing and coping with narcissists. Harper Perennial. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/27213149-rethinking-narcissism

Malkin, C. (2018, September 28). What makes a person an echoist? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201809/what-makes-person-echoist

Neo, P. (2021, June 25). Are you an echoist? A psychologist explains the “opposite of narcissism.” Mindbodygreen. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/echoist-opposite-of-narcissist

Raypole, C. (2020, August 28). Echoism: The other side of narcissism. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/echoism

Savery, D. (2020, February 21). Echoism — the silent condition in narcissistic relationships. Counselling Directory. https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/echoism-the-silent-condition-in-narcissistic-relationships