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4 Signs Your Anxiety Is Affecting Your Dating Life

Here are four surefire signs your anxiety is having a detrimental effect on your dating life.

By Jonathan DraperPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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Unfortunately, anxiety is a condition that affects a huge swathe of the population, to varying degrees. Some learn to live with it; others struggle, often requiring expert intervention. One area which can be considerably impacted is using a date life. Even people enjoying a seemingly contented and committed relationship can face moments of doubt, no matter how irrational this sense of uncertainty and worry might be. One major issue with anxiety is that the signs aren't always obvious. They can be underlying, lurking beneath the surface, especially when the person involved feels obliged to hide them. But here are four surefire signs your anxiety is having a detrimental effect on your dating life.

It's difficult to look outwards rather than inwards

A classic example of this facet of anxiety would be a conversation between yourself (assuming you are the subject of these negative feelings) and a prospective partner. While the natural inclination for two people with any degree of chemistry would be for the discussions to ebb and flow, covering a variety of topics, if you are undergoing an episode, you won't be engaging to anywhere near the same extent. Instead, there will be an internal train of thought, one where you are dwelling on the problems you perceive, whether there is any genuine basis to these, or they have been concocted by your over-fertile imagination. If your partner is getting the sense of not being listened to, this will also have a negative effect on how they see you. This could lead to an erosion of trust. But there a solution to a conversation problem. Experts from this website tell that if you have social anxiety, using a online dating can be helpful because it takes the pressure off in-person meetings — at least initially.

Your default position is to see the negative

A major issue with anxiety is the way it impairs your ability to be objective. This is a common trait with many forms of mental illness, the fact that the person experiencing the symptoms is the one least likely to be able to give a judgment based on facts. When it comes to your dating life, the default position might well be to assume the worst.

Excuses come so much easier than actions

Your dating life should be lively and vibrant. Whether you're connecting with singles on an online dating outlet, or you have a regular partner who you should be enjoying a regular social life with, your calendar should be marked with forthcoming highlights: a trip to the movies, participating in some sporting activity together, a cozy night-in with wine and a good movie, booking a table at a new restaurant, and so on. In short, the sign of an active and positive relationship should be thinking of new ideas for your dates or consolidating your favorite pastimes. Anxiety can be the metaphorical spanner in the works. When you partner calls you, full of excitement for some new venture, if your only response is to dream up excuses why you won't be able to go, then your other half might eventually consider if it might be time to find someone who can enjoy being their partner.

You don't see this as a mental health issue

Like many other mental health issues, there can be a tendency to want to sweep anxiety under the carpet. The person undergoing this potentially debilitating ailment may well be aware of the symptoms – nervousness, butterflies in the tummy, trembling hands, paranoia, agoraphobia, etc. – but of the opinion these can be countered with alcohol or the aforementioned excuses. None of this is helpful for your dating life. It would be far better to think of confronting your anxiety, and the first step should be seeking professional advice.

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About the Creator

Jonathan Draper

I'm Chief Editor of relationship blog at Loveaholics.com.

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