3 Conversation Tips For Introverts
Advice from an introverted friend
Bars are opening, lockdowns are becoming a thing of the past, and we have to go out and socialize again.
I know many of you are very happy to be back in the office and the classrooms. But for others, it means being uncomfortable around strangers again.
And no, I'm not saying that all introverts are incapable of socializing smoothly. But I am. Failed handshakes, saying "you too" to the waiter when he tells me to enjoy my food, and hundreds of other examples.
However, even though I don't feel as comfortable in a place full of strangers, I've gotten very good at one-on-one conversations. It's not that difficult; you have to keep three things in mind and try to be a functional human being for a few minutes.
Since I learned these tips, I have never had an awkward moment of silence in conversation.
The first tip is not to have conversations with anyone at all. If you don't communicate in any way, you will never have a strange interaction.
I'm just kidding (a little). Here we go!
Don't make the conversation about you
This is possibly the easiest step. Being introverts, we rarely get immersed in ourselves. So I don't think it's common for you to spend hours talking about yourself without letting the other person do the talking.
However, it's still a thing that you should keep in mind. When we talk, we are making an exchange. You give something, and you receive something. Think about what the other person is getting from you.
If you're only giving dozens of personal stories that only you think are funny or one too many little-known facts about your job, it's not a good exchange.
When you speak, you don't necessarily have to talk to express something about yourself. Talk about a neutral topic, a new place in town, a classic movie, or better yet, something about the other person.
Pay attention
One of the best tips that someone can give you to maintain an interesting conversation is to listen.
This doesn't mean that you keep quiet, waiting for it to be your turn to speak, but instead that you pay attention to what your partner says.
This way, you can ask more interesting questions to answer. If the other person tells you that they studied for a few years in France, you can skip the obvious question of "and what is the Eiffel Tower like?" If you pay attention to detail, you may ask, "so you know French?" And surely your partner will be happy to say a few things in French.
Because we all want to learn other languages to talk about it with our English-speaking friends.
Never interrupt
Doing this always kills a good conversation.
We all hate being interrupted just to give unnecessary information.
" - So I went to Yale and I -
- I have a cousin who also went to Yale…"
There are things you can wait until the other person finishes to add.
Make sure everything you say contributes to a smooth conversation, where you both give and receive equally. Balance is key.
We all love to talk about ourselves. But that doesn't mean that we like to sit in front of a mute mannequin. We want to feel heard, that what we have to say is interesting, and respond.
In this way, you will be able to keep any conversation going without a problem. It doesn't matter if you're on a date, meeting your partner's parents, or making new friends. The formula is always the same.
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Mindsmatter is written by Bola Kwame, Jack Graves and Emma Buryd.
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