2 Of My Daughters Inherited My Mental Issues

In a previous article, I talked about what it was like dealing with BPD. Well in this one I am talking about 2 of my daughters.

The oldest one is like me in a lot of ways. She looks like me, she likes to write as I do, and she has depression and anxiety issues. She is now 22 years old and has moved away to another state. She is even in college. Since she is so far away and an adult now, I am unable to do more for her than to be there to listen when she needs someone to talk to.

Now, the one I am worried about the most is my youngest daughter. She is 14 right now and has been going through a lot. She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was little. So because she was so rambunctious I tried her out in sports. First, she played basketball in kindergarten. And she was good for her age.

Then in the following spring, I signed her up for tee-ball. When she discovered tee-ball, that was the end of basketball for her. I tried to get her to do both. But she wouldn’t hear of it. She played softball every spring until last spring. We ended up having to take her out for the season because of some emotional issues.

For the past few years now, she spends all of her time when not in school in her bedroom. She will come out to join us at the dinner table. But she is usually done in 5 minutes and heads right back to her room.

She’s also gotten more rude and disrespectful since becoming a teenager. She feels entitled to everything and is very stingy. She expects everyone to share with her but won’t share with anyone else. We can’t get her to clean her room or even help out around the house.

But this is not the worst of it. Over the past couple of years, she has been going through depression and anxiety too. Then recently we found out that she has now been diagnosed with BPD like me.

We have been trying to get her into counseling and maybe put on antidepressants to help her. The problem is that she has been passed to 3 different therapists this year. All because they left the center. This has been very frustrating for us because she isn’t getting any help. Last month was especially hard on her because a boy she knew in her school committed suicide. This hit her pretty hard.

So we tried to get her into a different place, but that place doesn’t do DBT therapy. So back to the first clinic we had to go. Now they are putting her with a therapist that has been there for a while, has no plans to leave the clinic, and deals with BPD. They are also working on beginning a DBT therapy group for adolescents.

I hope that this happens soon. I am very worried about her. She has been known to cut herself, she snaps at everyone, has meltdowns a lot, and we can’t get her out of her room much.

I know that if they can get her in the DBT program that she will learn the skills to help her deal with what she is going through and how to handle her emotions easier. I also think that if they gave her some medication to help with the depression, anxiety, and BPD she would start to feel so much better.

I love her very much and it hurts me that she is going through the same mental issues that I am going through. It’s hard enough dealing with me going through this, now I have to deal with both of us with it.

I guess though, all I can do is take one step at a time, like I do when dealing with just me.

At least I have one advantage with her that I didn’t have with me. She is only 14 years old, and we know what is going on and what needs to be done to make things better. She won’t have to go through most of her adult life without knowing what is wrong with her and how to make it easier to handle. If we can get her regulated on medication and through DBT therapy, I believe that she can have a better and more successful life than I had.

I just miss my happy rambunctious loving little girl and want her back. I wish for her to have a happy life.

I have learned over the years to take mental health issues very seriously. My parents never really paid as much attention to it as I do. They had their own problems in life and never gave anyone's mental health any thought. But going through what I have gone through, I was very watchful of my children the best that I could.

She is suffering right now and this is hard on me. I want her to be happy and have a better life than I did. I don’t want her to suffer as I did for as long as I did.

We are almost through 2019 and 2020 is fast approaching. I am hoping that she will start feeling so much better and start being with the family more over this next year.

We just need to take one step at a time. Just put one foot in front of the other and all will work out in the end.

Wendy is passionate about her 4 daughters, her 2 grandchildren, her cat, and her writing.