10 Tips to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

While there are people out there who are masters at using the right feelings at the right times and never losing control over them... there are also others who don't know how to work their emotions. Since we're gifted with the use of feelings, we apply ours differently to certain moments. We'll get happy after accomplishing a goal. Upset when we lose a basketball game. Jealous if we see our significant other talking to someone. And even pissed off when we see our ex. It's the beauty of being human, and since emotions are pretty complex, there are times when they're difficult to handle.

You can't tell me, "I'm able to handle ALL of my emotions." I sincerely believe that that's nearly impossible. The negative emotions like hatred and jealously are tough to handle. Can you stop being jealous over someone, or hate the sight of your ex? There are certainly ways to practice using emotions, and that's what I'm about to get right into. These are the greatest tips to improve your emotional intelligence in any possible moment.

Ask for other's perspective on things.

For almost any situation, it's important to ask for other's perspective. It's possible to face a moment or incident in the most biased way. That's not how you handle a situation. You want to look at it from different point of views rather than your own. Sure, your opinion plays a large role, but so does the perspective of others.

When it comes to a quarrel between you and a friend, your friend's thoughts may diverse your own, that's why there's an argument going on. You can talk about the incident with your others friends and see what they think. While you might not see it, others can view the misunderstanding. So, with their opinion, you can use it to solve the argument between you and your friend. This is why asking for different perspectives are important.

Stop the build up before the trigger.

From the tips to improve your emotional intelligence, this is a major one. There are way too many people out there who bottle everything up before releasing it all into one giant explosion. You could be having the worst day ever. You fell down the stairs, you burned the lasagna, your pet fish died, your teacher gave you a failing grade, and you're simply absorbing all of the negativity that's happened to you throughout the day.

But then your mother tells you to clean your room and you suddenly release all of the negativity that you've been building onto your mother. This is certainly not how you handle all that's happened throughout the day. You should never bottle anything up, because it makes matters worse. Instead, handle each incident on their own, and don't carry them with you as the day goes.

Stop and think before acting out.

Stopping and thinking before acting out is certainly one of the ways to improve your emotional intelligence. There are people who don't bother thinking before saying or doing something, and this manner can actually make matters worse. If you say something very hurtful without thinking twice about it, then you're not taking advantage of your thoughts.

Even in the midst of an argument, never say anything that's risky, because this can jeopardize the situation. You want to think of what you'd say and the possible outcome. If you know that one thing can make the incident far worse, stop yourself. Never allow your mouth to run first.

Never ignore your negative feelings.

Negative feelings like jealousy, hatred, envy, distress, and everything else that doesn't involve any positivity shouldn't be ignored. In fact, negative feelings shouldn't surface, at all. These feelings can take a toll on your actions and you don't want that—trust me.

So, when you're starting to feel jealous or the hate rising, try your best to distract yourself from it. Do something to get rid of that negative emotion. For example, if you're out and you see your ex, ignore the hate that's suddenly surfacing. Talk more to your friends, don't look at him, and grab another drink! Negative emotions shouldn't be welcomed and control your thoughts. So, never avoid your emotions.

Always ask yourself "why?"

Everything happens for a reason, and we have to learn to accept this. So, in any situation, you have to stop and ask yourself, "why is this happening?" to further understand the background of it. What led up to this incident? And what's the proper way of handling it?

Instead of jumping to conclusions, you should always take a step back and ask why to clearly understand the logic behind it. There's usually a specific reason for anything, so make sure you understand the incident before jumping to anything; this is one of the ways to improve your emotional intelligence.

Pay attention to how you behave.

Way too many people are oblivious to the way they're acting. And they never realize it until someone tells them. There are even moments when they refuse that their behavior is completely wrong. These are the type of people who don't fully understand their emotions and how to use them.

But when it comes to the methods to improve your emotional intelligence, make sure you pay attention to your behavior. Especially in really tense situations, you can overreact with your emotions and that's not how you handle it. Your feelings can control you without even noticing it, and possibly make the issue even worse. So, always notice the way you're reacting to certain things, and if you realize that you're reacting to it the way that you don't want to, then it's best that you stop yourself from continuing.

Observe how you feel.

Observing how you feel is a bit different from paying attention to how you behave. Observing your emotions is getting more in-depth with how you're feeling in certain situations, and why you're feeling this way. For example, you see your ex talking to someone and you start to feel a little jealous.

You know that you're feeling jealous, because you're witnessing your ex talking to some other person. The more you observe yourself, the more you'll understand how you're feeling. Rather than allowing your emotions to fully control you, you can take ahold of your emotions and understand where it's coming from. When you don't observe your feelings, you're allowing your emotion to control you.

Be responsible for all of your feelings.

No one else is responsible for your feeling but you. Since no one is controlling you but yourself, everything that you're feeling and the way you're reacting to situations is all on you. From the ways to improve your emotional intelligence, you have to accept the fact that you're feeling jealous, angry, or hateful towards someone, but push it away.

If there's an issue and it leaves you feeling extremely pissed off, that's on you, it's not the situation. Other people may react differently towards the incident, and they're responsible for that. But if you're getting out of hand with your anger, you're the only who can overcome your anger.

Take criticism as a lesson.

People don't realize this, but the many criticisms that occur in your life should be taken as lessons rather than insults. From receiving bad grades on your exam to getting denied when applying for job, you should take all of these criticisms and apply it to yourself in a positive manner. Yes, it's tough not to feel upset over them, but they'll definitely improve you.

From the ways to improve your emotional intelligence, view criticisms as the bitter truth of your performance. If you get upset over your failing grade, don't be, and try harder next time. In fact, criticisms should push you to try harder and become better!

Practice makes perfect!

Finally, from the best ways to improve your emotional intelligence is by practicing! When I mean practicing, I mean practice reacting to certain situations. Practice how to control your emotions. And practice thinking before acting out. The more you practice, the better you'll be at handling your feelings.

Many of us get out of hand with our emotions, and that's because we're not practicing. You'll be able to use proper feelings and react better to anything when you pay more attention and observe the way you're behaving and feeling. So practicing makes you a better human!