Walking Through The Rain

I don't have anywhere to go in particular. I am walking, letting my feet take me where they want to go. This morning, the rain started as a gentle shower and grey clouds covered the sky.

As grey as the tears you left in my heart on the day you left me.

The rain is much heavier now, and it is cold outside. Still, I walk mindlessly; not bothering to think about where my legs are taking me, and I feel so numb that I can't feel the freezing rain or icy winds as they touch my skin.

A young woman walks past me, holding hands with another young woman. They share an umbrella and laugh together about getting caught in the rain. The younger of the women is pretty with dark hair, just like you. She is laughing as she tells the other woman that she didn't bring her coat because it was sunny when they started walking, and she didn't think that it would rain. The older woman laughs and puts her arm around her, just like you would have done if I had made the same mistake.

I smile, but my heart sinks like a shipwreck lost at sea. I long to have you back in my arms, to see you smile, smell your perfume, and share those same laughs just as we used to.

I sit on a bench. It is drenched, though I don't care.

I can't feel it anyway. All I can sense is the tears welling in my eyes.

Tears that have pooled in them from the oceans of my heart drowning in grief.

I am not in the present time or place in my mind. As I sit here, I am back with you, shopping, dancing, singing, kissing, cuddling, and making love.

My mind is stuck in 1996. That was the final year that we spent together before you said goodbye.

The rain is clearing now, though as I walk, I feel like I am walking through a violent ocean rather than on a pavement.

A man and a woman walk past hand in hand together. They stop to say hello.

"We are getting married tomorrow." The woman tells me, flashing a beautiful diamond wedding ring at me.

I congratulate them with tears in my eyes.

I would have married you, too, if I had been given the chance, but you were stolen from me by death.

A death you didn't deserve. A death because evil people couldn't accept that we were a bisexual couple.

Back in those days, we lived in a world where people like myself and you were treated poorly because of our sexuality.

Society did not look at us as ordinary people who were in love. We were shamed and treated like dirt.

We were the people who were silenced and only safe if we walked in the shadows, living a life where we weren't allowed to be seen or heard.

Society was disgusted with our rules of unconditional love.

We weren't allowed to be human.

I feel a hell burning inside my body as I think about how the gang beat you to the ground and murdered you because you would not conform to society's rules on love.

There is no justice in murder, full stop.

There is no justice in taking a person's life for loving who they love.

You were a gentle, caring young woman, full of love and life. You lived and loved with your whole heart, and you were not afraid to show it.

It is raining again now, and once more, it is raining in my heart.

I walk home slowly.

I can't see anything in front of me, only the image of the beautiful young woman I can't bring back.

Nobody, no matter what orientation or gender they are deserves to have their lives taken from them, because of who they are, or who they love.

We all deserve to live in peace. I never want this to happen again.