Something Else

Sometimes I wonder how it started. I can't pinpoint an exact time, or what triggered it, but I have some moments I can think back to.

I have been asked the question, “Do you like girls?”

“No” is the response I gave.

Why was that asked of me? Because I’m not dating? Sorry, but that’s just not a priority for me. I know I don’t like girls; whether that be by parts or presentation, I’m not interested. Can I notice when one is attractive? Yes. But that doesn’t mean anything. Would I say yes if one asked me out? No. Would I ask a pretty girl for her phone number if I spotted one? No. What is up with that? Who would ask a stranger for something like that? I never understood it. And I never will.

“What about guys?”

Of course, something like that would be the follow-up.

“Maybe?”

That would be the default gender for me after all.

Men are another story though. I have been asked for my number by them, but of course, I say no. Why? Because I don’t know you, or we’ve barely had a decent enough conversation for me to want to give that to you. If he’s a supermodel, would I say yes? I wouldn’t. Why? Because he’s just a stranger with a nice face. It's interesting how the right look can make a person swoon. That’s never happened to me; I wouldn’t count on it. I remember my friend Sydney; when she first saw Gale in the first Hunger Games movie, she was head over heels for him. Talking about how hot he was. I saw the same movie, and honestly, I’m not impressed. Sorry Liam Hemsworth.

Is it really so crucial for you to know who I like to date? Do I even need to do that kind of stuff? Who says you do? Everyone can choose, so what’s wrong with choosing not to date?

It is believed that if you don’t have a preference, then you’re broken. Or that you haven’t found the right person. Or you just don’t put yourself out there enough. There are plenty of people who prefer the opposite sex, some who like the same one as their own, then there are those who prefer both. But what about me? Who prefers neither? Am I just being stubborn, or is this a real thing?

Fast forward a few years when Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 came out in 2017. I was going to see it solo, but this guy in my Chemistry class suggested that we hang out sometime outside the classroom. I suggested that movie, and he agreed. We got each other’s numbers. I don’t remember how long I waited for that day, but I knew it was a Saturday. The day came, and the theater was packed. The movie was great. Never thought of it as a date until he said the word. We didn’t kiss; looking back, it would’ve been weird if we did. But it was still a great time! I don’t think there was any hugging, either. And I am perfectly okay with that.

I don’t talk about it to other people. Because there’s no reason to bring it up. Everyone talks about their boyfriends or girlfriends or other people’s boyfriends and girlfriends. I’m just there listening away since I have nothing going on in that portion of my life. And do I have to anyway? I don’t need that kind of stuff. Yeah, the idea of it sounds cool, but do I really want it, though? That’s the real question I always ask myself.

I've never been asked what kind of people I liked. If someone had a crush on me, I would tell them I’d rather be friends. If I had a crush on them, I wouldn’t act on it. Does that make me weird? Maybe. But I know what I am and don’t want to change it.

Why should I change it? The media may portray this kind of thing as abnormal, but it’s not. I don’t need to justify it to anyone, it’s how I am. I think I’ve always been this way, and I’ll continue to be this way. No, I don’t like girls, and no, I don’t like guys, and that is that.