Let Children be Children

As a child, we all loved to watch cartoons and shows geared to children. Usually around the age of 5, we become aware of the other message these shows relay. A message that may or may not be intentional by the writers, but nonetheless an important message. Romance is between a man and a woman; boy and girl, whether it is a TV show or movie. As a child, we accepted the terms. We understood it was normal for a boy to fall in love with a girl or vice versa. These shows would support the idea by occasionally displaying a kiss scene with two characters of opposite genders, or families with both a mother and a father. When reality meets with media examples, it validated relationships. Additionally, parents and family members begin joking about having a boyfriend/girlfriend. Eventually, friends would too. Everyone waits for the day when the child matures, and announces their love interest to someone of the opposite gender. This is the norm. It is what most people expect and want for their child. It has been the norm before television and motion pictures were introduced. The media has only reinforced this ideology.

Unfortunately, when a show displays queer-fulness, it is often met with animosity. For example: Velma being portrayed as lesbian, the lesbian kiss in “Lightyear,” and more became headline material and were either protested against or banned from playing. For this reason, queer shows are usually placed on streaming platforms instead of public television. The rationale is most likely linked with the philosophy: Children should not be introduced to sexuality. However, the true meaning of this idea is: a child can be introduced to sexuality in heteronormative terms, but not homosexuality, or queer. Just to be clear, this is not the “act” of sex, but romance and romantic attraction.

The problem with the heterosexual expectations for romance is, it alienates the idea of homosexual or queer relationships. While most children will follow the heteronormative expectations to romance, there are those who do not fit in the hetero-box. These children begin to question who they are and their place in the world of romance. If they hint at the fact of being queer, they are often told “You’re too young to know what you want,” or “it’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it.” This invalidates their authenticity, and they become ashamed for thinking they are queer. It makes it difficult for them to find romance because they feel “broken” for not following the idolized idea of hetero-romance. Presently, children who realize they are part of the queer community, usually stay in the community. Regardless of television, music, or other forms of media will enforce. Queer children will find and learn more about their queer side. Instead of “hiding” queerness from children, we should allow children to explore it.

If a queer child, growing up with heteronormative media does not change their romantic attraction, then a straight child watching a queer show will not change their orientation. They will still grow up straight, just as their queer counterpart grows up queer. Children watching a drag show is not going to make them “want to become a drag star.” Two men kissing on scene will not make a boy gay. However, we need to stop making a joke about it, or calling it gross when it does happen. Romance is romance, love is love. What these shows do for children is validate their identity and strengthen their self awareness of who they are. Children are always questioning the world around them and looking for where they fit in. We need to provide representation for them to figure out who they are and which community will provide the best support for their mental state and development.