In and Out: TWD "Love Edition"

It’s been a while since I posted a new entry. I’ve been contemplating on where and how I wanted to start this thing off. I’m scatterbrained and my ideas don’t always come in order so I may as well just go with the flow. I wanted to talk about the thing I’ve been avoiding for the past year. Love. I used to think of myself as a hopeless romantic but lately I haven’t been in the mood for such blind love. My last relationship ended in disaster and may have been the worst trauma I’ve dealt with aside from the passing of my brother. I don’t even enjoy watching romantic movies anymore, thinking it’s all fake and superficial. Do I want to be alone forever, No! That’s the sad part. We need companionship. It’s a basic human need. And I would love to find my soulmate. Sometimes I wonder if I already met them and missed my chance.

I’ve been dreading to write about this but I need to get it all out. Tell my truth and writing is the best way I feel that I can communicate with others. Years ago I met someone and this was before I was fully out the closet. She seemed to possess all the things I wanted in a partner but sadly my fear of coming out led me to choose another. She lives in DC now and is in a committed relationship and after all these years I can’t help but wonder, what if I chose her, where would we be? Would it have worked out? Was she my happily ever after? In TWD there are timeless couples that ironically don’t have much time together but it’s about living in the moment. Rick and Michonne are this super iconic power couple, ride or die, Bonnie and Clyde type energy. I want that. Rick has to go through a lot of heartache and despair before he meets Michonne in Season three and finally hooks up with her in Season six. Rick accepts Michonne, baggage and flaws and all. Even through his absence, Michonne raises his children as her own and never gives up on finding her soulmate again.

But what is a soulmate anyway? How do you know when you find your soulmate? There are tons of fish in the sea but how do you choose and decide on just one. In my life, I’ve been through heartbreak and untimeliness. Maybe I met my soulmate already but it wasn’t the right time for us. Things like this boggle my mind and I sometimes want to give up on love entirely. As I continue to wallow in my self pity, watching TWD does give me hope. Another iconic couple from the show is Glenn and Maggie. Yes, I know Glenn dies by the hands of Negan in Season five but their love lives on through their child and the communities they built. One of the most memorable romantic scenes about them is when Glenn is being killed, sadly, he still manages to speak as he’s being bashed in the head with a barbed wire covered bat. He says to Maggie, “I’ll find you.” This was tragic and romantic at the same time. At first, I was like, how in the world is he going to find her if he’s dead? So many fans have stopped watching the show due to this scene but I felt it gave me hope a bit. Maggie was pregnant at the time and now they added their child who has grown, Herschel, to the show and right away we are reminded of Glenn. He looks like him, baseball cap and all. That right there is hope, love, peace. He indeed found his love again and so did Maggie within their son, Herschel. Maybe a soulmate can be presented in different ways and not just a lover but in others. I pray I find mine, or they find me :-)