Family Reunion
My first family event post transition
Just arrived at Aunt Marie’s wedding
One knot in my stomach
The other in my throat
No getting around that one
The family would disapprove
But do they really approve of my presence anyway?
*
Well
Here I am
*
Feeling crowded in my own skin
Too skinny, some say
Yet
Too big, too visible, too existent
*
Breathe, girl, breathe
*
All the cousins based in and around Paris are here
Some aunts and uncles have flown from the island
Grandma’s health would not allow
And Maman stayed to tend to her
*
Breathe some more
*
Look over there
Our cousin made the trip
Crap!
Grandma’s first and favorite niece
80 plus years old
With the stern face and harsh tongue conceded to Caribbean elders
*
You are already here
You better go kiss that ring
If you don’t, there will be talk
“Did you see? Not only is he one of those, he’s also very rude!”
“I knew you could not expect nothing good from this kind.”
*
Breathe deeper
Pop a mint
The nausea will pass
At least, pretend it will
*
Just a few more steps
The humiliation will only last a minute
Or that entire evening?
But then you can use it as an excuse to avoid her forever
*
Ignore the palpitations
*
“Hello, Cousin Emma.”
That look says “Who are you?”
She has never seen you with long hair and makeup
And that frog in your throat is not helping
No more deep breathing
Speak up and introduce yourself
“I’m the child of Lili”
*
Her eyes open wide
Is it bad?
Oh my!
“Oh my darling, gyal!”
*
Every knot has instantly dissolved
Joy!
Victory!
The godmother has spoken
No one at this party can say shit to you
Enjoy yourself, girl.
* * *
Author’s Note:
My grandma’s niece was less than ten years younger than her. They grew up like sisters. For many years, they remained the last two faces of that generation. In the absence of my grandmother, she was the only elder and she was not known for being soft spoken (or soft in general).
From that day, at the wedding, until she passed, a few years ago, her nickname for me had become “The most beautiful one”; a compliment particularly appreciated coming from her, as she was a rare beauty in her younger years.
* * *
This is a part of the Queer Vocal Voices challenge
About the Creator
Lily Séjor
Lily is really not the best at describing herself, so she'll put this down for now and circle back when (if) she's inspired. For now, she wants you to know that she's your verbose friend who rarely knows what to say.
Comments (4)
Beautiful use of language to create snapshots within one cohesive piece
Wow this was so emotionally hard hitting. Really well done, very transformative!
Aww this was written so emotional and so well. I connected with this line too so much wow "Here I am / Feeling crowded in my own skin"
So cool that it turned out well and there was approval (no one can say shit).