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Coming Out as BiAroAce and Non-Binary

Written by Miranda Monahan

By Miranda MonahanPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 3 min read
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Coming Out as BiAroAce and Non-Binary
Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Just a quick disclaimer before we get started. I am by no means an expert. This is purely based on my experience and my own internet-based research.

When I was figuring out who I was, these are the thoughts that played in my head over and over and over again. Sorry, in advance, I have a list:

I feel different.

I do not feel straight.

I feel I guess the opposite of straight.

Curly?

I do not know.

I am attracted to men, women and non-binary people.

Not for romance.

Just as friends.

I do not want sex, at all.

I just want friendship.

I was assigned female at birth.

I still identify as such.

However, I feel masculine at the same time t0o.

I do not want to have surgery.

That stuff is scary.

My pronouns?

I think she and her sound good.

No!

I like a gender-neutral tone.

She and they?

No!

Switch them around.

They and she?

No, they and them.

Perfect!

Do I need to change my name from something traditionally feminine to something more gender-neutral?

Alex?

Sam?

No, I do not vibe with these two names.

I do not think it matters.

I like my name just the way it is.

I still identify as a woman.

Wait, if I'm queer will I lose the people I care about most.

You know what, if someone does not accept me for who I am, to heck with them.

I am me and that is who I am.

My name is Miranda Monahan and I am BiAroAce and a non-binary woman. I came out in March of this year, 2022, just in case anyone has lost track of time, given the events of the last couple of years. I always kind of knew I was not straight. I started figuring out my sexuality seriously in 2016.

What does my orientation mean? Let me break it down a bit.

Bisexual: When someone is attracted to men, women and non-binary people. They are still valid even if they choose not to date and prefer, "the single life".

Pansexual: When someone is attracted to people based on personality and not gender.

Asexual: When an individual is not attracted to anyone in a sexual manner. Asexual people can have sex if they want to. Some just may prefer not to have sex at all. Asexuality is a spectrum and we asexuals are some of the most disrespected people in the queer community. People do not realize we exist. Sometimes cake and bread, specifically garlic bread, are associated with this orientation on the internet.

Aromantic: When an individual is not interested in romantic relationships. Again, some people do not realize we exist. We can date others. However, some of us prefer to remain single for the rest of our lives.

Non-Binary: When an individual does not necessarily feel locked into the gender binary of male or female. They may feel elements of one or the other or both. They also may feel neither set of traits. They may feel genderless or gender-neutral.

Did you know some researchers, such as historians, believe that Marilyn Monroe may have been asexual as well as bisexual?

Are there any takeaways I want to leave with anyone out in the world who may read this? Is there a short answer to that particular question? The answer is yes!

Everyone deserves the basic human right to love who they want to love and be who they are. Even if someone may not understand a queer identity, does not mean it does not exist. Conduct your own research and learn about someone else's feelings. You never know, you may come to realize that you identify with one of a few different identities.

I want to wrap this piece up by saying. An individual does not need to come out of the closet if they do not feel safe to do so. Only come out if and when you feel comfortable. You do you.

AdvocacyCommunityCultureEmpowermentHistoryHumanityIdentityPride MonthRelationshipsPop Culture
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About the Creator

Miranda Monahan

Instagram: @mirandammonahan

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Comments (1)

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  • ThatWriterWomanabout a year ago

    'I feel I guess the opposite of straight. Curly? I do not know.' I felt this series of sentences in my SOUL Hahaha! Well done!

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