Nearly Up In Smoke

I never did drugs - except the one time. Alcohol, yes; too much. And I tried smoking cigarettes when I hit the bar scene, but that was gross and I never was “good” at it, so I quit trying. I still don’t understand the allure of smoking, especially as you get older, but to each his own, I guess. The same is said for drinking. I don’t much care for beer anymore, rum or cheap vodka, but I do like wine. I used to drink beer all the time. And shots of Tequila. Guys were impressed. I don’t do that anymore.

The one and only time I tried weed, I was thirty years old, very drunk and strongly encouraged by my (now) ex-husband. (Jackass.) I decided it would be a good idea to go out to the very dark parking lot of the backwoods bar and get into the car with this complete stranger. I don’t think I even knew his name, nor him, mine. He was a large, stoned man - I was a skinny, way drunk girl. And my husband thought this was reasonable. He essentially sent me out the door alone with a man who he didn’t know, either. At a bar. Surrounded by forest.

I got into the car. He opened and closed the passenger side door for me. What a gentleman. Then he got in on the driver’s side, pulled out the pipe and the lighter and handed it to me. I did as I had only seen it doeo on television, lighting the bowl (I don’t even know the terminology), took a drag and pass it back. We shared, I guess. He complemented me on my technique - Yay me! - and we went back into the dark and crowded bar. Luckily, nothing happened, but it was a stupid scenario.

I was already so incredibly drunk, I don’t remember feeling the effects of the pot, except that I was grinning too much. That could have been the alcohol, though. I tend to smile a lot, anyway.

One of my friends was there when I hadn’t seen in while She was there with her husband, who I had not met. They had been bar-hopping. It was good to see her, probably would have been better if I hadn’t been so messed up. She had a son who was about my age. He wasn’t there, but had always been a little on the “wilder” side from the way she talked. I never met him either, but I’m guessing she was familiar with my behavior. She was, as always, gracious, non-judgemental, and even invited us (my husband and me) to dinner! Or something - I don’t remember what the invite was for exactly. We never followed it up.

There was a woman at the bar who we also ended up speaking with a bit. Her alter-ego was apparently Crystal Gayle (a classic country star) with her long, dark hair and vocal desires. She ran around singing the country song “Crazy” all night. She was actually pretty good, as far as I could tell. Always an interesting cast of characters roaming the hick bars of the Northern woods. This was not a bar we frequented, but made drinking buddies and knew too many people, anyway. Small world.

So that was my only direct experience with marijuana. Overall, the experience itself was anti-climatic, but I would definitely not recommend trying it in such a scenario! I don’t think I could have been more irresponsible.

Thanks for reading! Have you put yourself into incredibly stupid-dangerous situations due to inebriation? Who hasn’t, right?