My Medicine

Let's me begin by telling you that I'm sick tired of American ignorance. For years I was a gear in a machine that turned the pharmaceutical companies revenue engine. I had experienced emotional pain that pain lead me down a dark path, one without hope or light, without Christ and God. This is my first article and with positive support certainly won't be my last and I hope to share my experience on this earth with more like-minded people some day; but back to being a gear, like many Americans today my doctor used me and my "condition" to make money off of the insurers by writing the prescription to give the pharmaceutical companies permission to give me as drug that is addictive, lethal and is only used to numb the pain instead of confronting the leading cause. They prescribed me 3 different antidepressants, when that didn't work they added Xanax.

Then I met my wife. I dumped my so called "meds" and started looking for ways to set us up for the future. And when I tried joining the Coast Guard it turns out that I was not able to because of the Xanax prescription. I decided that it's time to confront my problems instead of hiding or running from the truth. I found myself on websites where people were talking about mushrooms and their spiritual and healing properties, at this point I was intrigued.

I continued my research and within a day I learned how to grow mushrooms, a week I had spores, a month I had shrooms. I had to destroy the evidence so I chopped them up and downed them with a glass of orange juice. During the middle of the night, my wife was asleep, I was all alone and it was completely dark I laid down expecting a nice easy climb but instead was greeted by an overwhelming sensation of gratitude for my parents and grandparents, so strong it was impossible to ignore, I realized I was just grateful I was alive. Honestly it was the last thing I was expecting from the strange fungus I had watched come to life over the previous month; but as I lay, an endless reel of my entire life played through my head, everything I have ever experienced and every person who has ever left a mark on my life was shown to me in a conscious dream state.

It then occurred to me why this drug is illegal as I imagined people losing their minds in the streets and crying in their cars as the shrooms kick in, banging their head against the steering wheel from the feeling of knowing yourself so well but not being to explain the world around us. For the first time in my life I was able to accept what was given to me, the mistakes I made were shown but also the things I had no control over were more apparent and I came to accept these things. At this point I was so at peace with my life that I thought I was dying and going to heaven. After a good 4 or 5 hours of smiling and laughing at memories and imaginary events that are never going to happen I was able to sleep. I woke up the next morning very much alive and with a new found meaning in my life I feel like I can finally start putting it together. In the early morning on the day before the Sabbath I write to you, using my medicine as a tool used to communicate my feelings about my life and the world around me. God gave me the ability to speak and write and for that I am grateful. I will use it wisely.