How to Keep Your Drug Deals off the Radar

by Buddy Brown about a year ago in culture

Want to avoid jail time? Then keep your drug deals off the radar.

How to Keep Your Drug Deals off the Radar

Anyone who has been a pothead for a couple of years knows at least one person who ended up being cuffed for dealing cannabis. Sometimes, the penalties they pay are small. Other times, you could end up hearing about a close friend who just got raided by the FBI for housing a pound of weed.

It's amazing how little it takes to get a person on a police officer's radar, so if you want to be a local dealer in your circle, you need to be careful. Like, really, really, really careful.

Speaking from the perspective of someone who's known dealers that skated under the radar for years, this is how to keep your drug deals off the radar in a smart way.

Leave no paper trail.

You know, Al Capone was indicted for his mafia activities because the IRS noticed that his taxes weren't quite right. In order to keep your drug deals off the radar, you need to avoid having a paper trail that police can follow.

What does this mean for you? It means that you cannot put any of the money you make from dealing in the bank. You need to avoid living an overly lavish lifestyle, and if anything, just have it be "rainy day money."

Hide your cash, and understand that having money stolen is a risk of the game. When you're a drug dealer, you're no longer able to call upon the law to help you. Act accordingly, and be smart about hiding your money.

Don't do big batches until you've mastered small batches.

The biggest mistake newbie drug dealers do is trying to bite off more than they can chew. Contrary to popular belief, it takes more effort and street smarts to carry around a pound of weed than it does to distribute little dime bags.

If you're new to dealing, start small and stay small. There's less risk that way anyway.

If you have people come to your home, make sure they don't just come and go.

The biggest red flag when it comes to knowing how to tell if police are watching your dealer has to do with being aware of your surroundings. Police actively look for a heavy amount of foot traffic around dealers' houses, and will leave a surveillance vehicle in the area if they have any suspicions. People who come and go to those houses during all hours of the day are people who are obviously going there to buy something.

The best way to keep your drug deals off the radar is to limit the number of people who stop by. Ideally, you would never bring customers to your place at all unless they are legitimately friends.

Additionally, if they do stop by to get some goods, make sure they stay at least half an hour to an hour in your home. This way, it looks like you're all just hanging out at home.

Don't talk drugs online, on social media, or via phone.

Oh! If only I could have a dollar for every dealer who ended up getting locked up due to this terrible mistake! I'd be a millionaire! It's a really, really dumb move!

Here's a quick hint: Cops check phones. Facebook has a special drug task force that rats out dealers to law enforcement. If any of your clients get pinched, guess what police will do with the information they get from social media and phone records.

By acting innocent and never saying you have drugs online or on the phone, you are making it way harder for police to receive a search warrant to check up on you. Being vague when receiving orders is far better than being direct, especially if you get investigated.

Deal only to people that you know and that you know you can trust.

Snitches are a dime a dozen, especially if Johnny Law wants to lock them up. The best way to avoid being locked up is not to go hard in the game, and to stick to a very small crowd of people that you 100 percent trust—at least, in the beginning.

Being a drug dealer is a great way to network with people, so you don't have to worry about getting locked up or being stuck in a low profit rut. Trust me when I say your crowd will grow organically once they find out you have weed.

Listen to your gut.

Look, I'm not going to front. Things happen to drug dealers, even if they're dealing something as simple as cannabis or magic mushrooms. It's a risky business.

You can get robbed by a greedy addict. A friend who got popped could turn you in hoping to get a lighter sentence. You might end up getting shot by someone who decides to deal in your area.

Anyone who has done criminal acts for cash can tell you that your gut will be your best advisor in the biz. Your instincts will often know when something isn't right before you consciously will.

If you feel a sinking feeling about a potential client, don't feel comfortable at a party, or if you're suddenly uneasy, listen to your gut. You might end up dodging a bullet—literally.

Don't be a typical dealer.

The easiest way to keep your drug deals off the radar is to stay as far away from the criminal stereotype as humanly possible. Police profile for a reason. That reason is that stereotypes make it easier to claim "probable cause."

When you think of dealers, what do you normally think of? If you watch rap videos, you think of the guy who has baggy pants, chains, a bandana, and sits on a corner making "got some" gestures.

The smartest way to do any crime is to defy every stereotype that you can think of dealing with the crime you're committing. So, when you decide to deal drugs, don't be the guy in the drug hoodie; be the one in the business suit with pot in the briefcase.

Police judge people by how they look. Investigators also judge people by reputation. As a dealer, you should aim to be the most non-violent, sober-looking young person in the room at all times. How else do you think the most notorious female drug dealers were so successful? At least, until they got busted.

Keep an eye on the news.

Drug dealing, just like any other crime-for-cash, is all about making sure you avoid the wrong people. The news is the easiest way to figure out who to avoid.

Did you notice a lot of busts in the news? If you notice names you recognize or familiar faces in mugshots, it may be time to lay low for a while. Above all, don't serve to people who you know were recently locked up.

Hide your weed—and don't get lazy about it.

Do you know how most people tend to get caught with weed? They get stupid and leave it out in the seat of their car or somewhere in plain sight. Or, they end up walking around where drug-sniffing dogs are and get caught that way.

Drug enforcement groups are actually pretty lazy when it comes to dealing with people. Just hide it and most will not want to bother with it.

Don't piss people off.

Are you pissing off your dealer? Believe it or not, the easiest way to keep your drug deals off the radar is to be a decent person. When you piss people off or make people feel cheated, they are much more likely to rat you out to law enforcement.

There is such a thing as street justice. If you act like a jerk, expect it to come back to you. When you're dealing, make sure that you take the moral high ground as often as you can.

Buddy Brown
Buddy Brown
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Buddy Brown

Detroit-born Buddy Brown is a 80s hair metal fan who loves cars, games, and sports. When he’s not drinking PBR while listening to Downtown Brown, he’s playing Grand Theft Auto or working on his El Camino.

See all posts by Buddy Brown