Drug Dealers‘ Digest

by Rob Holloway 7 months ago in culture

Optimizing Efficiency from a Consumers Point of View

Drug Dealers‘ Digest

My name is Rob, or Ak_Word (pronounced awkward), and I'm your average customer. After years of working in customer service, I started enjoying interacting with a company from the consumer point of view. Whether I’m ordering clothes online, going to see a movie (Mondays are the best days in my opinion), or picking up a mobile order from Starbucks, when I’m spending money, I want it to be an enjoyable experience. I’m a broke boy at heart so parting with my money is hard, To quote the great philosopher, YK Osiris, “You just gotta be worth it.”

When you have a bad experience you know it. No matter how big or small, you know this whole experience could have been better. Like when you know you shouldn’t eat McDonald’s, but it’s right by your house so you say,

“Ok, boom. I gotta eat something. A McDouble, with only ketchup and mayo, would work to tie me over. And oh snap! The App has a coupon for a free large fry! Today only! Won’t he do it?!!”

So you pull into the drive thru, place your order, get your food and the drink you added on because, come on, they’re only a dollar. And off to your house, you go, eating some fries... You know Mcdonalds fries are time sensitive.

Home sweet home! You sit down humming whatever was playing in the car, now in your AirPods. You unwrap your food ready to eat. And what is that crunch?? Is that onions? A mouth full of those little crystals. The best sauce pairing for this reject dollar menu sandwich is ketchup and mayo. Who said this needed onions??

Now again, I’m a broke boy at heart, and this is an easy fix. Grab a knife and get to scraping. Go ahead and grab your ketchup and mayo and there you have it. You got your burger, but this whole experience could’ve been better, but what do you expect from McDonald’s at 11:34 at night? Not that long ass line for sure. Im not the only person to live thru this right?

One market I’m a frequent consumer of is marijuana. Surprise! It is the one industry I wholeheartedly support. And not just to get high, but hemp has usage and CBD is popping up everywhere. Tho I love getting high too, so there’s that. As much as I move around I’m always looking for who’s close by and can provide a great customer experience!

Its gotten to the point that I have a checklist that you have to meet to be considered my dealer. As referenced by MadeinTYO “I got standards.” To me, these standards seem like markers of great customer service, but when you’re dealing with the shady underworld, customer service isn’t the first thought that comes to mind. It seems like the everyday dealer often works as a caricature of the drug dealers we come to love on tv. Shout out to The Wire.

Well I want to introduce myself, one of many marijuana consumers, and customer experience enthusiast. I will guide you on the issues I run into, and they can easily be solved by listening to your market. I’m aware this guide could be used in other markets, but I wanted to focus on the market that matters most to me. Weed. The series will include chapters like:

"The series will include chapters like: Why be McDonalds when you can be Chic-Fil-A?: A Guide to Effective Time Management"

Why be Mcdonalds when you can be Chic-Fil-A: a guide to effective time management

I enjoy a laugh. Not just trap videos of you smoking your own weed: a lesson on effective marketing

No one keeps cash like that. And I hate stopping to use an ATM: Acceptable payment methods

I look forward to sharing my knowledge and tips and if I’m lucky we can all experience a better buying experience when we purchase our drugs.

Feel free to email me your common drug buying issues and I’ll see if I can come up with a solution.

Subject Drug Dealers Digest

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Rob Holloway
Rob Holloway
Read next: What is Black Cannabis?
Rob Holloway

Writer Comedian Stoner. I have spent my life around marijuana and grew to find it very useful in curbing my anxiety and depression, as well as connecting people together.

IG: @Ak_Word

Twitter: @Ak_Word

Snapchat: HoKidd

See all posts by Rob Holloway