You Are Old Donald Trump

“You are old, Donald Trump," the journalist said,

“And your hair looks suspiciously phoney;

Yet you stubbornly asseverate that it’s real,

Don’t you think that’s a load of baloney?”

“In my youth," Donald Trump replied to the press,

"I expertly coiffured my thatch;

I have the best hair in the civilised world,

And it cleverly hides my bald patch.”

“You are old," said the journo, "as I mentioned before,

And have grown disconcertingly fat;

Eating burgers and fries and drinking Diet Coke,

Tell me, what’s the reason for that?"

“In my youth,” Donald said, “I had to ingest healthy food;

Hamburgers and fries they’d forbid.

Now I can eat whatever I want

And I still weigh the same as I did.”

But you’re old," said the hack, "and your jaws are too weak;

For anything tougher than suet;

Yet you’ve devoured six Big Macs and super sized fries

Tell me, how did you do it?”

“Well you see,” said the Chief, “I married quite young;

To Ivana, my very first wife.

And the rows we enjoyed, have strengthened my jaw;

And it’s lasted the rest of my life."

“You are old," said the press, "I can hardly believe;

That your brain is as steady as ever;

Having filed for bankruptcy six times in the past,

You still think you’re incredibly clever?”

“I have answered three questions, and that is enough;

I’m sick of your liberal views.

Unless you’re from Fox then you’re all just the same;

Truth? Facts? That’s all just Fake News!”