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xox

(anorexia)

By Sara Published 10 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - August 2023
56
xox
Photo by Stephany Lorena on Unsplash

fuck my body.

fuck me

and all of my twisted and tangled organs.

fuck my refection

and the skin i pinch

between my fingers.

fuck my life

and what it takes to

sustain it.

glucose, fructose, lactose.

kilocalories, steps, miles.

fuck my eyes

because they have never

seen beauty

when they have looked

and then looked away

because it hurt.

fuck gas and bloating

and cramps that raise hell.

fuck the ribs

i used to count

fuck the voices

that follow me around.

you will never be good enough.

pretty enough.

and that is why everyone leaves you.

i will torture you

until you are mere bones.

and then i will torture you again

because the skin you live in -

it is not your home.

but also you cannot escape it

and you have nowhere to hide.

you are mine, darling.

CONTENT WARNING
56

About the Creator

Sara

Don’t look for love.

Be love.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (39)

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  • Mackenzie Davis9 months ago

    That voice at the end -- it was echoing in my head so loudly. I would say that nothing was lost in translation here. Fantastic work, Sara. Wow.

  • Alex H Mittelman 9 months ago

    Great piece! 🏆

  • Mattie :)10 months ago

    Amazing!

  • Brenton F10 months ago

    so honestly raw and viscerally open. A TS well deserved!

  • damn why does this hurt so much and why beauty money is worth like a coin in a quasar so love tell us why we get fucked when we all put our heart. I want to understand

  • Maria Flournoy10 months ago

    If this is a true story about the author, it makes me incredibly sad. Otherwise, very powerful words, could feel it inside me!

  • J. S. Wade10 months ago

    wow. Raw, powerful. Daring. Congratulations on the recognition So well deserved. 🥇

  • Melissa Ingoldsby10 months ago

    I subscribed to you with many different types of glands and pieces of me to you, my piercing heart 😍 always

  • This was really well done. Really raw and powerful! I like the style you used, it felt unapologetic. Congrats on the top story for this one!

  • Mariann Carroll10 months ago

    Congratulations on Top story 💗🥳Very Relatable cause had stomach issues, it’s manageable now. I love how you end it, owning your body. It is a precious gift for sure, we have to live with it so we have to learned to love it so others can love it ,too.

  • Gerald Holmes10 months ago

    Fuck! That was incredible. One of the most raw, emotional and true to life pieces of art that I have read in my two years on Vocal. Just stellar writing. Congrats on an amazing Top Story. I'd be a fucking idiot if I didn't subscribe, so I did.

  • Paul Stewart10 months ago

    Oh, yay! congrats on TS, Sara!

  • Babs Iverson10 months ago

    Wow!!! That's amazing!!! Congratulations on Top Story!!!❤️❤️💕

  • Cythia moraa10 months ago

    Amazing work

  • Cathy holmes10 months ago

    Congrats on the TS.

  • Congratulations on your Top Story🤩🎉🎊🫶🏾💯😊🥰❤️‼️‼️‼️

  • Jeffrey Sparks10 months ago

    Very beautiful and deep poem. Well done.

  • Barbara Bittencourt10 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story, Sara!

  • Tiffany Gordon 10 months ago

    Brilliant work!

  • Catherine Dorian10 months ago

    "fuck the ribs / i used to count." Brilliant line. The most insidious aspect of struggling wtih body image is that because you hate your body, you obsess over it. Very well done here. I'm subscribing.

  • Jazzy 10 months ago

    I want to be as comfortable as you making poems like this, this was hot 🥵

  • Dana Crandell10 months ago

    Congratulations!

  • Hopefully your words will give the person who needs to hear them, the power your experience offers. Great job!! Congrats on the top story

  • Kendall Defoe 10 months ago

    Well...fuck... I like this, and I hope you are at least feeling better...

  • Lindsey Altom10 months ago

    Raw, harrowing,... very appropriate words to describe this. I pray one day if not already you will know that you are enough and not just enough but beautiful in every way. That being said I've never suffered anorexia however my mental health has been a constant battle for me since childhood so on some level I can relate. God bless...

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