Work in Progress

My name is PoeticQueen.

Writing this at age 18.

Been writing since I was age 15.

I am a poet, but in my dictionary, being a poet is not easy.

It is a combination of being an introvert during the day,

but a storyteller at night.

A storyteller the next day, but then crying in my sleep that night.

Being a poet is letting the pain out on stage

but then trying to hide it for the rest of the day so that no will see that..

My eyes hurt from crying

My voice hurts from screaming

My mind hurts from breaking

My heart hurts from hurting.

I write about my trauma to turn it into something beautiful.

I write about my pain so much

that it no longer feels unusual.

I’m not able to mix my poems with happiness, so they react like water & oil.

I am the rose on concrete that wished it was planted in soil.

I am the offspring of trauma and abuse.

I come from two people who hurt each other so much that they chose to hurt me.

I have the strength to write about the pain no else was able to see but me.

I write about where I’ve been, where I am, and where I want to be.

Sometimes, I don’t have the strength to perform a poem

so I let the poem speak for itself.

It’s taken me years to finally realize that I am not my trauma.

I am not my parents.

I am not my past.

I am not my scars.

I am not what my anxiety thinks I am.

I am not just writing this for a poetry slam.

I’m writing this to remind myself that

being a poet means being a work in progress.

It means to realize that my trauma does not define who I am,

but it defines where I’ve been.

It means having the ability to speak without ever opening my mouth.

The ability to speak up

without even having the fear of being spoken down to.

The ability to feel powerless when writing the poem,

but feeling powerful when performing the poem.

My name is PoeticQueen.

Writing this at age 18.

Been writing since I was age 15.

I am a poet, and being a poet means being a work in progress.

It means being the rose on concrete that wished it was planted in soil,

and the diamond in the rough that wants to be polished.