Why

Why does loving & care for you always hurt

Even when you not trying

You still put me in pieces

I can’t understand

I care bout you

I can’t stop

I tried

I beg

I plead for your love

Never receive it

I pray it changes

But even if it does

What does that say bout me

Am I really that naïve

Am I really this dependent for you’re love?

I ask myself daily

Cause I can’t take the pain

Watching you happy make me smile

Cause you deserve it

& you know that but still

You constantly beating round the bush

Claiming you want this love and affection

Yet brushing it off at every turn

That hurts

That pain I feel every time I see you ignoring

Ignoring me when I wanna give you all my time

Not putting you over my dreams

Yet not wanting to live em w/o you

Ion like it no I don’t

But ion say that cause Ion wanna upset you

But why not?? You don’t care when it’s me

Lord knows I wear my heart on my sleeve

Begging fa ya love yet to receive

Beggin baby pls love & laugh w me

Lemme take you round the world

All white 2 seater just to brag you see

Only wanting you fucking my head up

Cause yeah these bitches banging

But ya vibes unmatch incomparable

Yet it seems we incompatible

Ion care cause ik this your world

My world is yours

My work is yours

But uon want that nooo

You want dem fuck niggas that play

Ion got time fa nun of that

I got dreams I gotta chase

Whether you here or not

Cause I can’t ask or beggin a soul fa shit

Cause all the times I ever did

Everyone showed me why to neva let the bag fumble again

That’s why I stopped smoking and drinking

That’s why I write this lil poetry

To just keep me sane

Give me release from all this anger and pain

Pain of not getting ya love

Anger from not knowing what I did wrong

Maybe we started fucking to soon

Maybe cause I neva got to make love to you

Maybe cause it was materialistic at first

But fuck that cause now you got my heart

And ion want no else to have my shit

This icebox belongs to you

Whether you here or not

Whether she thick or not

Nigga wtf you hollering bout

Bout love I never received

Cause being this naive neva helped

But my past taught me to hold on as long as I could before I broke

From my parents to my friends to my family

Blood or not

I been hurt in ways I never imagined

Almost dying always crying

I can’t take it no more

I just want you to be my escape

The one I’m honest with

The one I share these riches with

But no that ain’t what you lookin fa

You looking for a bitch nigga w no goals

I hate that cause you mad ambitious

But fuck it I guess we close to em the end

Cause every time we talk the convo shorter and short

The reply period longer and longer

But fuck it we young

Everyone tell me forget you

But how when all I wanted was you & me?

Fuck I’m down bad but you just the remedy I needed

It ain’t fair yet I hide it cause why explain when you act how you act

Tired of hoping this work

When ion even care enough to try

So what this goodbye won’t be easy

But it’s the ending

Only ending I see unless it’s a drastic change

Hopefully there is one

But knowing you I’m just a reject in your book

Not deserving of ya love cause I fucked first night instead of earning it

I wanted to but vibes was hot so I dived in to get a taste

That ocean was amazing but ya mind forever spotless

Perfect lil angel I’m sorry fa all this trouble

Maybe one day we get back close

Maybe one day I get the chance to take you on that baecation

Maybe one day I walk you down that aisle & it’s pure gold from there

But til that day

Ima let you be at peace and not stress ya

Cause yeah I want you but I’m done begging to be there

Showing you I care yet not caring if I’m even ight

That’s why ima let it ride til I see ya actions

Turn into miracles

Miracles like me flying you out w me to enjoy

Anything really w me