Who am I?

I sit here pondering about my life and who I am. I recall moments when I was full of joy and when I was full of sadness. Life can be so confusing at times. It’s as if one day I am on top of the clouds, and then the next, I am hitting the ground. I don’t know what I want in life. A relationship? The perfect job? Or the life of the person I’m dreaming of; I don’t know. It’s all so confusing, and my time here feels overwhelming. Life isn't without its decisions, people, love, hate, happiness, sadness, loss, memories, etc. How do you navigate life when you feel like you have no direction? I don’t know what my passion in life is; I don’t know if I am doing the things I do because I want to or if I want someone to be proud of me. Or is it so I can brag about achieving “major” things in life? What is it that I want out of life? I always say positive and motivational things because I know people may need them. But the truth is, I need it. I need it the most because sometimes I don’t know where I am going. I don’t know what I want. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to seize to exist, but in a way where I can live without making decisions. I want to be living my life with no expectations.