When the harshness of life

When the harshness of life,

Here I sit again heavy hearted

5 months into it.

So really sad and all that loss.

The emptiness of the forever.

Never to be filled, slowly eating me up.

Some things are just too much,

to grasp and accept and live with.

Some things make your heart bleed and you can hardly cope with the tears.

Waiting to be shed but not shed,

Bucket loads of them.

Kept, nurtured and saved over time and place.

Numb with pain and refusing to accept the reality,

How can we live with that pile of too much?

How can we go on and re-invent ourselves?

With the regularity and steadfastness of a swiss watch.

As individuals, as people.

How can we cope with the world as, it is?

And our freedom to react to it.

How best are we able to walk away from all that pain,

To cut lose, all those horrors for an instant,

A moment just going back to before.

Then sometimes we wish, it were all over.

We are only human

Conditioned by our helplessness, our limits

And when our nothingness takes over with desperate sadness.

The easy way out is to lock the door and throw away the key.

Cut up our credit cards, leave our unpaid bills behind

And walk away from our so-called life.

In the end we can't let sadness win.

Life is a bloody rollercoaster and do I hate those.

Up and down and up and down, …

How can we cope.

All we want is straight lines

Beginnings and ends

From A to B.

But would we cope with the always smiling and always happy,

That a linear life expects us to be?