Waist Not, Want Not

I once was a skinny youth,

But those are days gone by.

I ate whatever pleased my taste,

And topped it off with pie.

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But now, my stomach has grown out,

My arms have flappy skin.

Where once I saw a slim profile,

I have a double chin.

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Yes, I like food, I must confess,

I eat three times a day.

But then my butt balloons right up,

And it won’t go away.

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Dieting is not for me,

I tried it once or twice.

I like the taste of sav’ry food,

Not celery and rice.

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Don’t get me started on fried foods,

I’d eat them anytime.

But diet food looks just like dirt,

The taste should be a crime.

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So, please forgive me if I dare

To keep my extra curves.

You run an extra lap, my friend.

I’ll have some more hors d’oerves.