Vices

I put too much on you

Your deaths my crutch, it's true.

Let's hear some bad advice, I give myself

Move on.

don't whine.

just live your life while your living

I won't be here forever

Really thought I'd learned that lesson

Time to chase my dreams

Quit messing around

I can't just be the guy with a dead sister

wow that's a lot I just met you, mister

oops there goes another romantic hopeful

keep my mouth shut I'm a damn fool

I never got to be a rebel

I didn't want to be like you

But now you've been gone so long

Self-destruction seems like all I can do

good news or bad news

depends on how you take it

But no one seems to notice

When I'm happy I am faking

Are you my motivation

Or is honoring you a shitty coping tool

I love you

don't get me wrong

but how did I get here

My life has become my vice

For dealing with the loss of you

Dreams lost in the monotony

When I find myself again

It will be one hell of a win

Because deep down I know

I don't have to let your love go

I can be more than just the guy who lost a loved one

Get past all my vices

Then finally I'll know what loving life is.