Unspoken

One word on the tip of her tongue. Simple yet so complicated.

He sat there saying all kinds of words, all the wrong ones. Words, days and even weeks later she replayed in her mind trying to understand.

He asked her “what do you want?” She knew he meant for her future and was asking more about career than anything. But only one word came to her mind. Yet she did not speak. She was too afraid to say it after all the things he had just said.

Instead of words she simply let the tears roll down her cheeks. Everything he was saying only making it harder.

She believed his intentions were good and this was a clear case of him not understanding why she was crying. How could he, when she wouldn’t say the one thing she truly wanted. The only thing that had been on her mind for months.

She lays in bed replaying that night once again, and she wonders what he would’ve said if she spoke the truth.

If he had asked her “what do you want?”

If she had only said… “You. I want a life with you, to be a bigger part of your life, to be important enough to meet them. I want to build and grow with you. All I really want is You.”

But she did not speak, only cried. Because she feared that his dreams, his wants were not the same. She was too scared and like usual too damaged to speak up for herself.