Two Killers, Passing In The Night
A "Foggy Waters" Challenge entry
I don't know if this strictly fits into the Challenge requirements, being a poem, but the challenge page doesn't specify a short story, so it's worth a shot.
A figure crept through a darkened wood
A life cut short can never grow old
Clothed in black from shoelace to hood
The dead do not feel the cold
Behind them they dragged a wrapped body so still
A life cut short can never grow old
Dead for no reason but for their killer’s will
The dead do not feel the cold
They came to a lake, the killer and slain
A life cut short can never grow old
No body or witness means none to point blame
The dead do not feel the cold
The body sank down with barely a splash
A life cut short can never grow old
But the quietest noise make the killer’s breath catch
The dead do not feel the cold
Another was there, with a corpse of their own
A life cut short can never grow old
Another dead body, cold flesh, blood and bone
The dead do not feel the cold
Their eyes met in darkness, as black as their hearts
A life cut short can never grow old
Should they silence a witness, or simply depart?
The dead do not feel the cold
“I have no quarrel with you,” their eyes seemed to say,
A life cut short can never grow old
“Forget what you saw, and we shall both walk away.”
The dead do not feel the cold
A nod and a wink, and they went on their way
A life cut short can never grow old
Another name on their list, to hunt the next day
The dead do not feel the cold
Take heed of this lesson, and you may yet thrive
A life cut short can never grow old
Two can keep a secret, if only one is alive
The dead do not feel the cold.
Two Killers crept through a darkened night
A life cut short can never grow old
Their weapons near to hand, clutching them tight
The dead do not feel the cold
Their eyes met in darkness, with the cold chill of death
A life cut short can never grow old
Before the sun rose, one would draw their last breath
The dead do not feel the cold
Under a blanket of fog, the lake water hides sins
A life cut short can never grow old
One killer departs swiftly, and one last body slides in
The dead do not feel the cold.
This originated from a writing prompt sent to me by my ex-, who liked to throw story prompts at me and watch stories come out. “A serial killer is dumping the body of his latest victim. They hear a noise, and look over to see another person doing the same thing. Their eyes meet.”
I was busy editing a book draft at the time, with a deadline looming, and Crime Fiction isn't really my go-to genre, but the meter of a song I was listening to at the time combined with the need for a break, and this was the result.
The Foggy Waters Vocal+ Challenge didn't specifically exclude poetry, only that the work had to be "a piece of short horror fiction that is set in or near a body of water."
I had to extend this poem by several new verses to meet the challenge minimum word requirements, but you can find the original here
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About the Creator
Natasja Rose
I've been writing since I learned how, but those have been lost and will never see daylight (I hope).
I'm an Indie Author, with 30+ books published.
I live in Sydney, Australia
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insight
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
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Comments (8)
Wow this was enthralling.
I enjoyed the repetition
A chilling entry, and now I can comment
Wow! Amazing. Chilling, intriguing, excellent storytelling. I loved it!
I liked the story inside this poem, and loved the concept of the two killers showing up at the same lakeside to do the same thing. Great work!
I read this poem and got the rhythm, then I read it without the repetitive lines and got rhyming couplets. I enjoyed both ways, it evokes a sinister story.
H this is a good poem, clever how you used lines to create a beat. I might just tell this at a campfire
Excellent story telling in a poem form ,bravo👏