Trapped.

A poem I wrote a long time ago. This was before I was diagnosed with Bipolar and then Borderline Personality Disorder. It was my way back then to I guess vent a lot of what I had held inside for so long. It was such a cathartic release and this coping mechanism has stuck with me to this day. Now though I can find enjoyment in writing not just as a release but as a hobby, to improve my skills as well. If any of you are going through a hard time right now reach out to someone who'll listen and care. Get help I didn't do it soon enough. I wish I'd got help sooner but everything has a way of working itself out.

This poem may be a reflection of shame, anger, guilt, blame etc. But this is not how I am to this day. This poem helped me move past it. Sometimes memories come back but I can say I am definitely not feeling how I did when I wrote this. I do however hope that maybe some of you can read this, relate and feel less alone.

Empty rooms,

mirrors top to bottom,

nothing but time,

reflect upon past sins,

for when judgement day looms,

I won’t be handed in

chained and shackled to the devil,

I will atone for my sin.

Scratching the walls,

written confessions with blood,

trapped inside,

mirrors unforgiving on the eye.

Voices screaming,

dirty and unashamed,

only trying to lay the blame,

god forbid you find it in yourself,

admit you had a part to play,

in me turning out this way.