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Can’t concentrate
I can’t write a thing
My mind is in turmoil
Constantly moving
From topic to topic
Stopped taking
My anti-anxiety medication
I didn’t like the side effects
That was starting up
The constant muscle spasms
And the jerks
So I quit cold turkey
Without talking to my doctor
Because I wasn’t waiting two weeks
To get the okay to quit
Now I’m aggravated and mean
Trying to stay in my lane
Wishing I had more to say
But I just don’t
My heart feels weaker
But I may have forgotten a pill this morning
Like I said, I can’t concentrate on one thing
My mood is so bad that the smell of my husband
Just pisses me off
Oh, God, did he just open his mouth to talk?!
Wishing the cat would lay by himself
And that the dogs would take care of themselves
Tired of trying
Too mean to quit
I guess I’m here to stay
*************
I quit taking Abilify last week. This week, I feel like a crazy hermit. Since I quit cold turkey, the muscle spasms and jerks have calmed down. But my mental health is deteriorating rapidly. I've no patience, and I stay aggravated. Right now, I could live off-grid somewhere, with no one around, and I'd be happy.
I know this is no way to live, and I should NOT have quit cold turkey, but I felt that the side effects would cause more harm to my heart, and with heart failure, I can't afford to take any chances on my heart's function. I'll be talking to my PCP about an alternative that I can take with my heart medications. If she tells me that there is nothing else, I'll go to the natural mood medication, and smoke a doobie. Just wished that would improve my concentration more, instead of making me more airheaded than I already am.
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Comments (7)
Definitely explore other options - I hope you find something that works.
Gosh I'm so sorry that this is happened to you 🥺 When would you be talking to your PCP? I hope there is an alternative for you to take. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Man Sharon, you are going through a hell of a time. As a former medical professional I know going cold turkey can exacerbate both severe physical side effects and emotional reactions that create an unhealthy imbalance in the brain. As a friend I look up to here on the Vocal, I completely get it. I stopped an anti-depressant without stepping down and developed tachycardia. Whatever you choose to do, I hope you find solace in your daily life within the moment. XX
Slow down and breath. Breathing exercises took care of my anxiety and panic years ago and when I start to feel anxious or panic I breath those same old exercises and it stops.❤️
I have heart troubles too, I drink bitter cerasee tea, or lime water with apple cider vinegar, taste like donkey piss (I never drank donkey piss, but i imagine). I hate pills, though i try my best with the heart pills. I too find solitude very helpful, and sunshine is a balm. Being on here helps and I am very thankful when I awaken to a new day. I see nothing here that needs a warning, but...I can only send you hugs and prayers for rest and wishes for your health to improve. Maybe a doobie (?) will help. Take care of yourself MC. Rest and recuperate as best you can. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Hope you can get help when you see the doctor. Otherwise, go ahead and smoke a dube. Air-headed is better than stressed, imo.
This was very relatable and gave me anxiety reading it - the poem! Very well executed. Sorry you've been having a rough time, Sharon and hope some improvements come your way!