Tonton (Uncle)

Respect was something that

Was drilled in me.

From a young age,

I earned respect

Through obedience and silence.

Yet Tonton demanded for a different

Type of respect.

The type of respect where

Tonton would smile for a little too long

Or hug me a little too tight.

I was told to change

Whenever Tonton came around

But Tonton’s eyes could still see through everything.

Days where Tonton would stare intently

And invade my space.

These days purge my mind

And keep me awake at night.

Why was Tonton so nice to me?

Was it my charm?

Or his hormones?

These days my skin feels

Irritated with Tonton’s touch.

I spend hours

Scrubbing away the memory.

But it only seems to spread

From between my thighs

To my stomach

To my chest

To my neck

Till it haunts my mind.

Till I feel the memory standing

In front of me

While I toss and turn

And feel Tonton's wet breath

Infest my thighs.

The smell of Tonton’s cologne

Burns my nostrils,

And engulfs my throat.

I occasionally try to

Push my nose away

But the reminiscing smell

Of sweat and cologne

Burns my eyes.

Will this infestation leave?

Or do I have to walk around

With this stench reeking my soul?

While Maman yells at me

To dress correctly

And Papa sits and laughs

With Tonton.