Today, I Have to Confess

I have to confess today for indulging another sexual desire.

 
Standing before the mirror, I saw a strange face—nervous, obscene and tired. 

It's not her fault but mine. She is just a young woman I found in a short video. She's pretty and sexually attractive in her voice and motions when singing, though she's not a pro singer. 

It suddenly gave me a different feeling. And it was turning stronger in my body. That strong feeling was out of my control in the end.

 
I helped myself as I did before, during which my defense and morality were disappearing fast. 

I was completely indulged in that great pleasure it brought to me. 

I have to confess today that I am a loser who is defeated by myself. 

That kind of lust has taken so much time totally in my life and made me less concentrate on what I should do. 

I have to confess today that it's not wrong in where I live, what room I chose for rest or sleep.

 
That is a strange feeling I don't have any clue. Even I don't know when it will exactly come.

  
I have to confess today that I have done too many times, which is the main reason that I am always thin and weak, and the worst, I am not who I was very young—open, bright and happy all day.

  
It's hard for me to develop muscles despite sufficient workout, in fact. And I am inclined to stay alone and away from social networking.

 
I have to confess today that this misbehavior sprouts within me, not by others.

 
I have to confess today that if I don't change, I can see tomorrow a hopeless future. That means I have died long before.