Today at the Office

the meeting was set

for nine am

i got in

at quarter to one

we'd like you

to take this seriously

they said

but i am wanting laughter

and fun

if i had of got in

at quartet to eight (pronounced ayeet)

i could have put a

whoopee cushion

on every single seat (see...)

fart jokes are old

but a bit of glitter

makes them a treat

the room would fill

with glitter and fake chuffs

glitter clinging to

every fake suit surface

every fake dress curve

chaos would rule for a very minimal slice

of the slimmest piece of time

it was all done in fun

and no one even got hurt

do you want to have a smell

(fake artificial made in Taiwan piece of shit looking plastic flower with a hole in it)

of the flower in my shirt?

[squirt]

bit i got in

at quarter to one instead

i did some copying i did some filing

and then pretended to hit my head

they sent me straight home

it wasn't serious

they wanted me to go to bed

they sent me home

i wasn't delirious just something that i said

they sent me straight home

got got got got me a free űber ride

they sent me straight home

got me a token for a mail order bride

they sent me straight home

we invested in a flag factory that runs on pure pride

they sent me straight home

everything you ever wanted and we got it all inside

they sent straight home

and i bear them no ill

they sent me out, they sent me home!

and in time for dr fuckin phil!

(All exclamation marks used in this poem remain the property of ExClaim1 and are purely hire use only)