The memories of my reality is falling apart.
I can’t seem to tell what is reality and what isn’t.
I wake up lost in sweet dreams that seem so true.
Tears in my eyes that have formed from nothing.
I look back at photos to re-imprint his image in my head.
Because my brain is slowly dying every second of everyday.
His image fading when I don’t want it to.
I miss his little big smiles and laughs, but who cares.
I don’t deserve to be sad anymore. They say.
They say, I shouldn’t even be sad anymore.
They say, I need to get over it.
They say, I need to stop being a buzz kill.
They say, I need to be happy for all their sake.
So in my head and heart I give a toast.
A toast to everyone for doing such a wonderful job at reminding me I’m such a kill joy.
A toast to everyone for reminding me that my feelings aren’t valid.
A toast to everyone for pretending to even care when truly they didn’t.
A toast to everyone who continues to remind me of how horrible I already know I am.
Cheers and thank you.