To the Love of my life

Dear Little Bear,

When I say that you are the love of my life it sounds like an exaggeration

Everyone Ooohs & Ahhhs while giving wide smiles of adoration.

But you see, It really is true

I have never allowed myself to love anyone the way that I love you.

Absolutely, unconditionally, unflinchingly, everlasting

Of course you didn't give me very much choice

I saw you and my world narrowed to your tiny face

I knew that I had to speak for you and protect you, even when I felt so completely out of my depth

As much as the love that I felt when I looked at you overwhelmed me, so did my fear of failing you

I think because of you I had to find my voice

Your father likes to joke that you imprinted on me because when I saw you for the very first time

I told him that it was all worth it, all of the pain and the mind numbing fear

I knew that I would endure it all again and again just to bring you here

Even through the nightmarish landscape that followed of endless nights & so many tears

Days & nights blurring together filled with Doctors, unbridled stress & anxious worry and fears

Through it all, the tears & the pain....I would do it all again. Just to have you near

As the years go by and you grow and grow

I want you to know

There is nothing in this world or the next that could ever change my heart towards you

My little bear, always know that there is nowhere I would rather be then with you

I will need you always,,,,,,,,,Through life's sun, rain, sleet and snow

Know that I am always proud of you

My pride in you doesn't hinge on what you do

My pride is held within your character

Your kindness, your bravery, your strength, your tenacity, your courage,

It lies with your ability to love with no conditions, no strings, no quantifiers

Your intelligence and imagination keep surprising me too

But as you walk through life, always remember little bear

My pride lies within your soul

A soul that shines so bright & true

Iv told you over and over

A person can improve anything and everything about themselves

but if they have a rotten soul & an ugly heart

That cannot be improved, not by time nor love nor will

I know that you refuse to hear me right now

You think that anyone can be fixed as long as you can love them hard enough

Hard enough to glue all of their broken pieces back together

But that's just not the way life works Little Bear, Perhaps you will come to realize this as you get older

I love you, my most handsomest Little Bear.

No matter where life takes you

No matter if I'm in this world or the next

Always know,

I am with you

I always love you

I will never leave you

I am always proud of you

I am lucky to have you

I always need you

I always want you

I am always here

I am always glad that I have you

You have always been everything that I never knew I wanted & needed.

All of my Love,

Mama