tidal wave

I am caught at rush hour in my mind in where all my thoughts are stuck in traffic through the folds of my brain trying to get out before the tsunami.

I'm hopping over myself gaining momentum and size like a wave building on top of another wave that will soon be a raging tsunami.

I want to dance on it, want to know how you pick yourself up out of the rubble after the tsunami.

a tsunami: an over-expressed feeling

The carnage that lays after: the regret of it all.

I have always been the natural disaster and the carnage.

They tell me to relax, that I am like a rock.

I say this is my relaxed.

When I am not the rock, I am the tsunami.

I am go, go, go.

I am rushed into action before thought,

I am running towards something I am not sure exists or I am looking for something I've never seen before. I am imagining I know what I am doing instead of thinking about what I am doing.

I am taking the L as in I'm losing not I'm learning.

I am thinking five steps ahead while walking backward, I am not thinking I am moving.

I am plowing through stop signs and checkpoints.

there is a difference between effortlessness and effortlessly. The first requires carefree responsibility, the latter requires the impossible thought of you magically poofing your life into the state of existence you want through no action, only thought.

is there strategy behind mindlessness?

I am playing frogger with my life jumping from place to place hoping each hop is closer to the end. I will win this game, land at the end of it all...effortlessly.