They haunt me, telling me I'm not good enough. Telling me that I'm not wanted, that I won't be missed.
I haven't scarred my arms so far this year, but the voice is there taunting me.
I find it so hard not to give in to the thoughts. I don't want to die, but I'm suicidal.
I want to leave and run far away, far away from my problems. Just like I've always done.
I'm not wanted here, I'm just a burden, a failure ... unwanted treasure.
I am wanted elsewhere, though. My voices are Wrong. I am Loved. I am Wanted. I belong alive. I shouldn't die, but I want to.
At least in death I can't fail, although I'd fail at life. I have dreams, I want my own family, I want children, I want a husband, I want a life.
I wish the voices would go away, I don't want them to stay. I haven't cut since last year. I've been happy, and yet I feel so far away.
I promise I will never end it, I am afraid of never seeing those dreams.
I am afraid of the pain of death.