Those Words

What if I said that you were terrible,

that your harsh words made me mad?

Would that have broken our sacred bond,

made our love unrepairable,

Or perhaps just made you sad?

*

Should I continue to choke back those words,

those words I never once said.

The ones that often burnt to ash,

as they bubbled and churned,

their volcanic rage inside my head.

*

Those words, a truth I wished I’d screamed

so many, many times before.

That boundary, never to be purged,

those thoughts unseen

trapped behind an unbreachable door.

*

But I’m at peace with silent words,

there will be no guilt nor regret,

of thoughts that lived in angered minds,

forever and always left unheard,

since I haven’t said them yet.

*

I could swear on all that’s ever wrong,

it was you who caused the pain.

But what’s the point in accusations,

now that you’re gone

If I cursed the heavens and your name?

*

You’d still be gone, I’d still be here,

my poor soul be wracked with shame,

while all that’s past and all to come,

would be the guilt forever there,

and I would be the one to blame.