This isn't what I ordered

Your insults so heavy, I cannot breathe

I showed you my fire; your jealousy seethed

I gulp at the slight scent of sweetness

Just to be fooled once again by libidinous

You distort my reality, soaked in toxicity

No exit, no freedom, no future can I see

I need your permission for the hands of my watch

Their movement through time, tick tock

Days pass by, and the joy is long gone

I wish I had known it was a con

My memory falters, as you’ve told me before

Perhaps non-existent, If I only knew more

The shame and guilt burrow

leaving carnage in their wake

I hold on to the moments of joy I thought we had

You blanket your insults

under false truth

Tell me it's honesty

But it feels like a noose