Things Said About Chocolate

"Dip it in chocolate," they said.

"It’ll be fun," they said.

"Sweet, sexy deliciousness," they said. Exact words. "Spice things up." S-u-u-u-r-r-e.

They also said, "Put plastic sheets down."

"Recharge obligatory marital conjugations"…or something along those lines.

Actually sooo enthusiastic, we forgot 'appropo' footwear.

Clear where this is going, huh? *Laugh and I’ll whack you with my reading glasses*

True humiliation lies in EMS staff arriving for butt-naked sixty-somethings encased in chocolate and stuck in a compromised position convulsing

In agony (not the noun we were shooting for) and unable to stand due to: query hip and/or knee dislocations, multiple lacerations, and contusions.

'Oh no' moments captured in painstaking add humiliating detail.

Never mind if you have the best of intentions. Think behind-the-scenes muted comic relief by healthcare professionals whenever you wanna be…you know…adventurous. And "Don’t do it," she said.

Photo: Karolina Grabowska on Pexels

Audio: 'Things Said About Chocolate' on SoundCloud by The Dani Writer

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