Things I'm Afraid to Say (to her)

I can usually suss

People out so quickly

(a survival mechanism

from having to please everybody)

But you remain a mystery…

There's something you don't say

And it's intriguing,

An enigma behind

Those unfathomable eyes of yours

(I could write a book of sonnets

Trying to define

their color)

And I want to figure you out

Without making shit up,

But you're so far away

And I need to stop

Bugging you

With every stupid thought

I want to share

My everything;

It's not something I've

Felt before–

Maybe I see some of me in you,

Or maybe it's a byproduct

Of having to hide so hard

For so long.

I hear a screaming

Behind your silences

And I want to calm you,

Break the cage

You had to put yourself through,

Help you to feel as free

As you've made me.

Do I need to buy a Bible

To unlock your secrets?

I don't have a book

That would help me read

The worlds you don't speak.

I don't understand why

Anyone would want me

Aside from need,

But you already have everything,

And yet you still reach…

(I miss your hand on mine,

Your foot as it

Ran up my leg

And set my mind

Aflame, ignited…)

Your touch doesn't hurt,

It's welcomed, invited

I trust you

Implicitly, but I don't want

To scare or overwhelm

So I sit

And wait

And try not to

Make

the

same

damned

Mistakes.