Therapy

I thought it would be easy being in therapy

I have had counsellors / social workers since I was 11

I am used to talking to people about my trauma

It’s always the same routine

Told them about my upbringing to my suicide attempts that failed

Hoping they will understand

But how can you understand something you haven’t experienced?

Or how would I know that they aren’t secretly judging me when I tell them my deepest secrets?

That’s the problem when you have been judged your entire life

You just assume that everyone you meet will have something negative to say

That's what happens when you're damaged

Every session is filled with scilence

I know I want to get better

A part of me thinks maybe I'm too broken to be fixed

The darkness never judges me

I think my brain & heart are use to be alone

I guess I am a lost cause