The Transient Nature Of All

(October 2, 2021)

8:01 PM:

i feel sad.

(October 3, 2021)

12:09 AM:

now, i feel inspired.

12:11 AM:

my own creative chaos teeters like a metal high-wire, stretched thin and strung high, frayed and connecting two city buildings dangerously unalike. but i think i like how it triggers & tickles the soft, violent spots of my swaying sanity.

12:12 AM:

copper lining clouds, i sit on an edge of a threat of self-destruction that bellows from all angles & sides for one to transcend self-appreciation or remain in awe only half of the time.

i am struck in the wake of life's center and opposites.

12:16 AM:

i did not say stuck.

i slumber in and out of the illusion. but am too, two, too. as sleepless is-- yet, still--

i am in no hurry to cross. the wire is dangerous when it is alive, after all.

the crows. oh, the crows all around. their shrieking cooing a mocking caw.

12:22 AM:

they laugh at me, because i am wingless. they cry out at what they think are tears of fear. they are not.

i cry because i am angry with my love, and if i am angry with love at all, then that means i am located somewhere vague: between point and understanding.

12:34 AM:

it's a position that evokes old melancholy, because uncertainty requires a surrender to arbitrary's nuance. whereas, deception contains an obvious clarity within it as equal to its opposite: an allusion to illusion.

12:37 AM:

i repress the shame that comes about from being at the mercy of ignorance in a world as disparate as this one.

at the mercy of ignorance in a world as disparate as this one, i repress my shame that comes about from being.

true horror is found in the subtlety of evil's intent: confusion and exploitation of the defenseless, the vulnerable, the innocent.

i grieve! i grieve! i grieve!

12:43 AM:

oh, how do i grieve, when i see her dancing amongst us every day undisguised. a thought never crossing many minds to question her, simply because we know not of such choice.

oh, silly cawing crows, i do not cry out like you. i cry in, so much like the rain outside.

12:44 AM:

it is the calm on my face that hides the storms that shake in the skies of my mind.

no i cannot hear you over the thunders that thunder, thunder, THUNDER in my very core. no i cannot see you over the electricity that blinds my sense of sight.

12:46 AM:

there is lightning that strikes from my mind and sets my heart aflame to beat with a heat that threatens to incinerate its very own circuitry. i am afraid to be shattered, afraid to be scattered, to be ash as if none of it mattered.

12:47 AM:

so tell me, silly crows, how do you see me? wingless and crying? because i do not know how to fly?

ha! ha! ha! nonsense! because now i know why:

how was I to learn to love my stormy mind through its darkest skies had i not seen you soaring there freely from time to time?

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