The Mystery of Anger

Why am I angry?

Why do I feel this fire inside, consuming my being, smoke clouding my mind?

Why do I feel this tired inside, exhausted by exhaust fumes fuming from the dragon in my heart acting out of line?

“It’s such a small issue,” I reiterate in the mirror, “an innocent incident, nothing you can’t fix by being patient and kind.”

But still, after all the advice

All the ranting, the venting, dissenting mind trying to revise

I am still angry.

Why?!

I’ve sprinkled salt in chats, poured out salt like the Dead Sea waters flowing to trap

The negativity that brewed in me, a potion, as I sat

And contemplated why,

Why I’m still mad.

Hellfire, trip fire, wanting to spit fire, many doubts to inquire,

Whilst wanting conspiring choirs in my head to simply shut the hell up,

Because surely my love can’t be a liar filled with desire, situation surely can’t be so dire?!

But then, why am I still bitter, berry unripe, lips sealed uptight, this ain’t right!?

My heart in a gunfight out of spite, no protective attire, needs fixing, flat tire

Stuck at frustration station—why am I still so bloody angry??!

I hate the demons in me coming out to play

Can’t help but let them stay to display the ugly side of me that I can’t rotate

And put back in the cave, deep down inside, exposing my insecurities and attention I crave.

Jealousy, the jealous me, why can’t you behave?

It’s really not a big deal, stop being afraid

Of scenarios you’ve conjured, overthinking, leaving you shrinking into depths of despair over something so silly, he hasn’t even betrayed.

Just stay calm, deep breaths, maybe communicate.

Distance doesn’t help, but remember, affection isn’t so easily erased.

Build bridges of trust over the lands and seas you must traverse to save

Messages and emotions still reachable by electronic waves.

Don’t let small things rock you unbalanced, it’s not done out of malice, distance is a challenge, you really feel the physical absence.

But it’s chill, it’s fine, cool beans, you’ll get through,

Ride avalanches, Ice Queen- “Nice crown!” Thank you!

Stay focused, my girl, don’t waste time, don’t devalue

Me, myself and I, with so many inspiring women to turn to.

Remember who you are, a warrior, a unit, remember to stay true

To yourself, you owe respect, and he and other things will naturally follow through.

Don’t give up yet, surf the tides, hold on tight, holy water, don’t forget what God gave you.

As long as you don’t let it conquer you, misconstrue, clip your wings, no longer free

It’s okay sometimes

Just to be angry.